Friday, December 16, 2005

CSI and Dietary Supplements

For those who don't know, one of my "jobs" is as a nutrtional consultant for a supplement company in Orange County, CA. I get a lot of eMail questions, and sometimes, okay, all the time, I am so bored I feel the need to give unorthodox answers. I have decided I am going to post these from time to time. These are actual answers to actual questions from acutal customers, mind you. This week's winners:

Why do we list “Malic Acid” separately on our Mega Magnesium product? Why would consumers find that a key feature?

Malic acid and magnesium are often prescibed together to help promote energy production, especially for people who are active. Though commonly used as an excipient or mineral binder in other products, this one contains it for a specific reason and as such is listed as an added benefit. This is something not too many people know, only those who are extremely knowledgable about sports supplementation.

On that note, I saw a really cool CSI last night where this Doctor of Nutrition (does such a thing exist?) was harvesting human organs and drying them into protein powder for supplemental consumption. There was a lot of really cool stuff about supplements and what they're used for in the episode, including such classic lines as "You're a little slow, there, Grissom. Coenzyme Q10 can help you with mental acuity." I think we should use this episode in future trainings, or at least clips from it. Anyway, the crazy cannibal doctor (who was, of course, rediculously hot) said that human organs are the single best source of nutrients that we can intake. I say you bring this up at the next Product Development meeting. I can just hear the calls now, "Hi, this is Renee from PCC and I have a customer here who wants to know if the humans used for this powder are grass-fed?" "Yeah, I just wanted to know if you test your human livers for heavy metals?" "Are the people you use for Human Protein Powder - Strawberry non-GMO?"

5. If something is in a gelatin capsule, does the powder inside the capsule have residual gelatin from being inside the capsule? For example, if something comes only in a gelatin capsule, and if someone who is a vegetarian breaks open the capsule to use the powder inside would they be getting some residual gelatin??

If Gil Grissom and his crack CSI team were investigating a murder where someone was extremely allergic to gelatin, and the "vic" had been given L-carnitine powder by his wife/mistress/jealous co-worker that, unbeknownst to him, had been encapsulated in a gelatin capsule before he consumed it, and Dr. Robbins determined his cause of death to be asphyxiation through poisoning, then, yes, I believe Grissom and his team of scientists would discover the microscopic amounts of gelatin in his system and trace it back to supplement powder, and said wife/mistress/jealous co-worker would be hauled in by Lt. Brass. If you are a strict Jew/Muslim anything that has come in contact with pork products is stricly "traif" and therefore should not be consumed. This includes plates, forks, glasses, countertops and vitamin powder. But, for your average run of the mill vegetarian/vegan that doesn't want to consume any animal products, the amount of residue in there is strictly microscopic and not much cause for concern. But I suppose that depends on how strict you are. (And, yes, I have gotten this question before, I just wanted to answer it in a different way)

Yes, I know I watch way too much CSI, but its much more entertaining than the evening news.


At 4:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is a reason why CSI (name your location) is one of the highest rated shows on tv!


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