Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Fun with Tourists

Tourist season has befallen Greater Miami and the Beaches. And what better way to welcome our friends from New York than to prey on their ignorance of Dade County customs and coutesies and make a few quick bucks? Here are some quick things you, the local, can say that should net you a good amount of cash:

1) I’ll bet you $50 you can’t close down Space on Saturday
2) $100 says Miami has a rapid transit rail system
3) See that blonde over there? $50 says she Hispanic.
4) I’ll bet you a night of drinks that that skinny white guy in a sweater and jeans standing next to the impeccably dressed, muscular doorman and the smoking hot hostess can override both of them and get our group of fifteen guys past this line, get us in for free and get us an open bar for an hour. All free of charge. And no, he does not own the club.
5) I’ll bet you the cost of a DUI I can get pulled over completely wasted and sent home with a “Have a nice evening.” Sometimes it’s nice being white.
6) See that blonde over there? $100 says she’s a man
7) I’ll bet you a lap dance at the spot of my choice I can take you to ten strip clubs within a ten mile radius
8) Give me a quarter every time you hear the word “Bro” while we’re on the beach. I’ll give you a quarter for every minute that I don’t hear Reggaeton.
9) Just go ahead and give me cash for the tip. Let’s see, 20% of the total is….
10) See that blonde over there? I’ll bet you whatever she costs she’s a hooker

1 Comments:

At 5:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'll bet you that guy's eyes are NATURALLY that large.

 

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