Thanks a Lot, Google!
For two years I wrote a newsletter for the supplement company, and for two years I put my name on every issue, and for two years it was virtually invisible to the internet. Where did I show up when I Googled my name? Middle of page two, behind a driving instructor from New Jersey, some guy in Ohio, a college bowl contestant from Georgetown, and a famous writer with a different first name. And only one of the two dozen newsletters I wrote was there. In retrospect, this is probably a good thing when trying to avoid creditors. I start a blog, and I Google the title and the post titles for a month and a half, and it’s still as if I’ve never written a word. But write something incriminating? BANG! Number one answer! Immediately. Thanks a lot, Google. I guess you guys must have figured potential dates would never want to read about vitamins.
To this point, White Dade has been buried so far in the internet my own mother can’t seem to find it. But you know who can? The one person who might actually not want to read what I have to write. And this person who found it had to look to find any kind of offensive writing. I mean, like deep into the archives. That’s a lot of work. I suppose I should be somewhat flattered that this person took so much time to read all these posts until they got to what they were looking for. Or maybe it was just a slow day at work.
So, you know who you are, if you are out there and still reading, how on Earth did you find this? Did you Google my name and come up with my Escort Service letter? I didn’t even know you knew how to spell my name. I’ve known people for years and they still spell it wrong. And once you got there, how much time did you spend reading through my mindless garble? Did you find it entertaining or were you just looking for dirt? Why am I even asking, I know the answer anyway. Taking the advice of Stephanie Klein's boyfriend, I am asking questions I already know the answer to.
I probably should have realized something like this would happen if I put my name anywhere on this blog, so I have remedied that situation as well. No matter. The offending posts have all been taken down. If you try and look at them again to re-horrify yourself, you will come up empty. Oh, and I got your blank email. I have a comments section, you know. Feel free to say whatever you like to me there. I publish them all, no matter how bad you may rip me.