Thursday, January 12, 2006

A Good Blog is Hard To Find

Good lord. There are roughly 500 million people with blogs on the internet to date, and I have managed to find about eight that I can read on a regular basis. Now, I realize that most people who have interesting things to say probably say them in a forum for which they are paid. Or where people do not have to dig though link after link after link to find them. I see a few links that pop up on a lot of blogrolls of blogs I read, so I figure they must be pretty good. But upon visiting said blogs, and desperately searching through their archives, I am crushed when I find nothing but celebrity gossip. Really, does celebrity gossip need to be your only topic? Okay, perhaps that is your niche, but I’m not really learning anything I haven’t seen at the checkout line at Publix.

Others recount nothing but personal stories about absolutely nothing. So you went out and got drunk in New York for the 98th consecutive weekend with a bunch of your i-banker/real estate buddies, huh? Wow! Let me guess, you guys don’t drink domestic beer or sleep with anything under a 7, do you? And I’m sure your group of friends parties like no other group of friends in the City, and that is why you get 1500 hits a day to your blog. Right? You know, while Jerry Seinfeld managed to make nothing entertaining, not too many other people have managed to do it. Yourself included. Nice striped shit/sport coat and jeans combination by the way.

Then there are the intellectual blogs that take themselves way too seriously. If I read another 25-year old discussing the various aspects of the pending social security crisis using words that I’ve only seen in Scrabble I am going to wretch. Try and write so that the general public can understand what you’re talking about. Because right now you are coming off like someone who thinks they know more than the general public. And my guess is you don’t.

Some people write long, long posts that pull off that most dubious of combinations, being wordy and dull. Like reading a legal brief, except it’s about why the MTA strike made them late for work. Then there are those that manage to put together a really, really great paragraph and then stop. Like the Guns N’ Roses of blogging. It keeps me coming back, but I still want more. For the love of God, we of the “Bored at Work” set need something to do. And solitaire is getting really old.

The comments sections are often entertaining, but far too many people seem to comment just for the sake of commenting. Like “Wow, this was really funny.” Listen, your stroking of some blogger’s ego does not make for interesting reading. I don’t ask that you write brilliant, witty retorts, or that I even agree with you, but like Jim Rome says, “Have a take, don’t suck.” That should be the commenter’s creed. Leave your compliments for emails.

Am I referring to your blog? Well, if I have ever left a comment on your blog or sent you a personal email, then the answer is no. Although some of the ones I read regularly I just wish they wrote more, so I am sort of talking to you. There is also a good chance I have not read yours yet, so, again, the answer is probably no. But to the vast majority: Good God. Can you give me something to do at work? If anybody knows any good personal blogs that update regularly and are entertaining, please let me know. And don’t plug your own. Because even though your mother has told you you should write a book doesn’t mean I will agree. And are there any other English language blogs out of Miami? Why do I even ask? Of course there aren’t. Nothing that comes out of Miami is in English. Silly, silly me.


At 3:32 PM, Blogger Betty said...

have you tried

he is hilarious.

At 9:43 PM, Blogger Secret Swinger said...

Fine, I won't plug my own blog. But I don't think you would find it boring.

At 1:16 PM, Blogger White Dade said...

Yes, Betty, actually I am a big daily dump fan. I left a comment about CSI on there the other day. I haven't checked him out today, but is he on vacation or something?

Secret Swinger, huh? Have you met my rommate? I checked out your page, but I will have to wait until my coworkers leave to readt it, lest I risk being fired. He is a regular at Miami Velvet (and if you are indeed in "the lifestyle" you know exactly what I am talking about)


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