Thursday, February 23, 2006

Some Depressing Numbers

Despite what Mormon Joe may say, I am not picky. I never bitch about not being able to find a tall, hot blond who is not vapid and hung up on money. I have accepted the fact that women date the richest man they can attract and men date the hottest woman they can afford. This is how it works, like it or not. Do I get frustrated? Of course I do, but it’s the same frustration I have with rush-hour traffic. Yeah, it sucks, but there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. I just proceed to get angrier and angrier until I adjust my life so I don’t have to face it anymore. So I, being the 7-at-best that I am who makes a decent income but nothing impressive, know where my league is. And to this point, I have pretty much dated within it.

Miami is a great place to be young and single. Bars open until all hours, world-class nightlife, beautiful beaches, loose legal regulations (perhaps I should rethink that one) and perfect weather. But to raise a family and/or accept any responsibility? Forget it. The corruption alone is enough to drive you away, not to mention the traffic, the insanity of the people and the lack of any discernable American culture. But, if for some unknown reason I did a little to much X and decided I was in love and wanted to get married in Miami, it would be damn near impossible to find the kind of girl I would be looking for. "Oh, you’re too picky," you say? Okay, let’s say ALL I wanted in a girl was that she was single (meaning not-married because boyfriends are expendable) white non-hispanic, between the ages of 18 and 44, with no kids. And I use that upper age limit because that’s all the census would give me. Here’s what the US Census and the Miami-Dade County Department of Health tells me:

2,253,362 people in Dade county as of 2000 (I know there are probably more now, but let’s just use these numbers for argument’s sake).
52.5% are female
20.7% are White, non-Hispanic
30.1% are between 18-44
47.7% are married
(Please do not argue the validity of these numbers. This statistical interpretation is highly unscientific and is likely off by a few thousand people here and there. But the numbers are probably close enough to prove my point)

Extrapolated, that gives you a whopping 31,487 single white women in Dade County. Now, let’s take it a step further and eliminate single mothers. I have absolutely no idea what that statistic is, but given that 40% of the 40,000 births in Dade each year are to single mothers (most of them are African-American and Hispanic, but still) let’s say it’s 15%. This leaves us with about 25,000 single, childless white women. That is, ready, just over 1% of the population of the county. One person in 100 you meet fits these VERY loose requirements. If I were to cut that age range to 18-24, which is where a lot of the so called “hot” girls reside, that number drops to 10,153, or less than one half of one percent. Notice I did not once mention tall, attractive, large-breasted, skinny, educated, funny, intelligent, ambitious, down-to-earth or any of the other litany of things guys complain about not being able to find in a girl. Just demographically desireable. Pretty depressing if you are White Dade, isn’t it? That is why, should I get to the point that I want to “settle down,” I can pretty safely say it won’t be in Dade County.

I read all these New Yorkers complain about how awful dating is in that city. “Oh, guys are all pretentious, self-important assholes” and “Girls are all bitchy and shallow and only want a guy with money.” Yeah, but at least they exist. If I wanted to start being that picky, there might be 9 girls in the whole county that would fit my criteria. And even then they’d have to like me, which is highly unlikely. So for those of you not residing south of the Broward County Line, be grateful for what you have. And if you are a guy in Miami with a white girlfriend between 18-24, I hate to break it to you, but she’s got you by the balls. Sorry, Mike.

22 Comments:

At 6:40 PM, Blogger mrshife said...

The numbers don't lie. You broke it down and it looks like you are going to have order yourself a wife.

 
At 6:47 PM, Blogger Tara said...

Believe it or not, I'm not looking for a guy who makes lots of money. I just wanna find a guy who doesn't annoy the hell out of me for long periods of time. Oh and he's gotta be fairly easy on the eyes and a non-smoker, a cat person....I'm gonna go make a list.

 
At 7:15 PM, Anonymous Carissa said...

I'm afraid to look at the numbers for women in NYC. On the surface, you see a lot of mediocre guys with pretty girls. And as far as I can tell - the guys who make a lot of money have zero time to do anything else. Unless they are born with it and that comes with another list of unattractive qualities.

Anyway - new to your blog and I love it. Are you from OC - in California?

 
At 7:33 PM, Anonymous Johnson said...

Just don't date a Mud Puddle.

 
At 8:43 PM, Blogger nicole said...

Again, I'm siding with Tara. I'd say that 90% of the guys I've dated have been busted ass broke. And I'm definitely not the only woman in this boat, unfortunately.

Also agree with Carissa on the idea that rich guys only have time to make more money. They can kinda suck that way.

Good post, though.

 
At 10:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's too bad. There is nothing picky about having SOME standards; but you have to think a bit liberally within those standards.

I assume your preference is for non-Hispanics because the ones down there are very ethnic, but you never know; some might be educated like you. Single mothers also might just have one kid and be the right kind of person for you. That's what I mean about being liberal within your standards. You do have to find someone you're attracted to and like, but be careful about casting aside entire groups.

 
At 11:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What ever you do, DO NOT date a single mother! I like the practicality of breaking down the numbers, so now you know what you are actually dealing with.

Girlz, I wouldn't knock the working-all-the-time kind of guy. If you are married to someone, you will be seeing them for a very long time even if they are working all the time. The more time you spend with ANYONE, the more completely annoying they become no matter how much you don't think so in the beginning.

Lovergirl in Tallahassee

 
At 11:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What the fuck is a mud puddle? BTW, what is the fucking point of a blog? Is it just to say "WD was here"?????????????? Cuz if that's the case, why not just write it on tthe Tavern bathroom wall? Commenters are just people procrastinating doing what they are acutally supposed to do. probably same thing for all you fucking bloggers out there too.

 
At 11:08 PM, Blogger coloradohurricane said...

I'm with Shife: go find one of those Russian bride websites.

 
At 7:44 AM, Blogger White Dade said...

Whew! ( comments before 8 AM? I love you guys!

Shife - Yeah, if you can find me a mail order bride company that features White American girls let me know. Although after watching figure skating last night, Finland may definitely be an option.

Tara -It always starts out simple, and then you realize you're just as picky as everyone else.

Carissa - Yours are my favorite types of comments. Thanks. If there are mediocre guys with pretty girls all over New York, I guess that would be one inducement to live there.

Johnson - I absolutely fucking love that term. Care to enlighten the rest of my readers as to its origins. Best metaphor ever.

Nicole - You and Tara have your heads on straight. Girls say they want a rich guy and then complain that he works too much. You just can't satisfy women. or maybe it's just me that can't satisfy women.

Anon1 - If you read any of my posts about not being attracted to "ethnic" girls, it had more to do with animal magnetism than anything else.

Loverigirl - You had me all the up until "Tallahassee." Go Canes!

Anon2 - The point of a blog? Different for everyone. The NIH says you should do something creative for at least 30 mintues every day. It's good for your health. Of course, that's 30 minutes, not 6 hours.

CH - Yeah, Russia wouldn't be a bad option either.

 
At 9:24 AM, Anonymous Johnson said...

Well, the term mud puddle came from after I broke up with my ex. I realized that she was as shallow, dumb and well, dirty, as a mud puddle, and that everyone has been in her at some point or another, so hence, the term mud puddle was born.

 
At 12:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn ANON, what is this communist China? Every heard of the First Amendment? White Dade can say whatever the hell he wants and shouldn't need to live in fear that he is going to get fired for his beliefs. Go eat a fat dick and why don't you go live in Cuba while you're at it.

 
At 12:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow, that last post was very "24" ish. But I'd be interesting to know what exactly in any blog would be considered "racist". I imagine if you believe his writings are racist then you probably are lacking in reading comprehension skills...Or you don't believe he has been racist at all, and just have a personal vendetta against WD and are looking for leverage to get back at him for something. Does that sound about right? Because I don't believe there is a single person reading this who feels the need to be apologized to for any of his writings...

 
At 12:29 PM, Blogger White Dade said...

Oh, and to answer Carissa's question - No, I am not "from" the OC, but I lived there for a couple of years in between stints in Miami. It's a pretty nice place, just wasn't for me. Too many surfers and stoners. You know the Haidl sentencing is today?

 
At 2:09 PM, Anonymous J said...

My friend is doing her internship report and is using City of Miami stats. In Miami, white (non-hispanic) ppl make up 10% of the population. But hey--there's pockets of white girls in Dade. Just move to Coral Gables, the Grove, or my personal fav Mahoney Residential College. Those are the keepers!

J

 
At 2:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey man, if it's been a while since you remember...someone having your balls tends to have its advantages too..like when they have your balls every other night...especially when there in the 18-24, hot,intelligient, not obsessed with money, have there own direction in life, white girl living in Miami-Dade category. I guess I should thank you for reminding me how fortunate I am. Thanks Chief!

-The guy you may or may not have been referring to in the final line of your blog

 
At 3:03 PM, Anonymous jenjen said...

Great. News monger Surfer Mike will be on this Haidl shit for days. He's hoping the death penalty for the kid and the entire OC sheriff force. It's a world of corruption out here, I tell you. Sidenote: SMike always begins the Haidl story with the ever so important highlightin fact that..that bitch and his family are from Riverside, but they moved to Corona Del Mar. F'n fakes
To go full circle here WD, well don't worry so much about demographically desirable as geographically, geographically again. It has been the mainstay of all OC kids of original status. Maybe you should try meetin girls in what would be equivalent to Newport. Even if Costa Mesa is just up the hill, this is a downgrade of vastitude. My best guess not knowing anything about your flaming o state would be West Palm Beach or Bal Harbor (same as the fashion ads for South Coast Plaza?). Even Marissa fell for Johnny, he had no money, but was at least from the coastline and not 1/2 mile inland.

 
At 6:05 PM, Blogger White Dade said...

Anon 1 - Actually if you look that name up in Google I am a writer for the Daily Pennsylvanian at UPenn. Upon reading my articles you can tell I save any actual skill for the blog.

Anon 2 - I think he would probably like it in Cuba. Lots of Latin girls.

Anon 3- Yes, your second guess is right on the money

J - Pockets? More like needles in a haystack. I hear the 7th floor at Mahoney is a good place to start.

Anon 4 - If it were every other night, you'd be right. But something (you) tells me that is not quite the case.

JJ - Isn't OC snobbery great? If I still lived there I would limit myself to girls who lived south of the 55, West of the 73 and North of Bake Parkway. Anything else is just soooo Mission Viejo. and if your area code is 714, I won't waste my time with you either.

 
At 6:49 PM, Anonymous carissa said...

i had not heard of the haidl case until you mentioned it - im from newport but dont really know what is going on anymore. jenjens post made me crack up. so true. if ONLY any of us could afford costa misery nowadays. we should be so lucky. i dont miss it though, except for the days when my only concern was how good the waves are going to be and whether or not to ditch my last class.

 
At 4:31 PM, Anonymous Mormon Joe said...

Do your self a favor and move to St. George, Utah. There is a large college there and it is very close to Las Vegas. And you I both know there aren't a lot of non white people in Utah.

 
At 12:10 PM, Anonymous No habla Espanic said...

Stay away from the bongo beaters. They'll have your kids cackling away in Spanish, parking on the lawn, eating garlic flavored fried bananas and rice with every damn meal and painting your house day-glo colors. Your girls will also be hairy and have tremendo asses by 14 which they won't cover with decent clothes to save their lives. They may just pop out surprisingly darker than both of you, because even the really light ones have some "spice" in their genes. They won't know anything about American culture. you'll have to put up with inane Spanish television. Your boy stands no chance of playing football. And they'll fucking hate you. Need I say more. And why not get a broad in Broward? Yeah, and like someone said, cruising up UM is a good option but you have to watch out for the gifilte (sp?)twats from NY, so look twice before speaking once.

 
At 11:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah the three basic lies: 1) Lies, 2) Damn Lies, and 3) Statistics. The census is updated on a comprehensive scale but once every 10 or so years. Given the transient nature of Miami's population (severely transient if we're talking young anglo women here) that 10k estimate of 'eligibles' probably fails to account for the thousands who come and go before Mr. Census even knows they were here. Like the weather, if you don't like the anglo demographics in Miami, just wait a while...

Then we have the student population who miss being counted as well--especially if they reside on campus or in student ghettos like Red Roofs for their entire 4-7 year pursuit of a four year degree.

So the numbers are a bit better, if you want to look at the total eligible women present in Miami over a, say, 5-year span. You've just got to catch them before they figure out the lay of the land and cut/run back north to where they can practice their xenophobia without such a sense of self-sacrifice.

 

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