Some Depressing Numbers
Despite what Mormon Joe may say, I am not picky. I never bitch about not being able to find a tall, hot blond who is not vapid and hung up on money. I have accepted the fact that women date the richest man they can attract and men date the hottest woman they can afford. This is how it works, like it or not. Do I get frustrated? Of course I do, but it’s the same frustration I have with rush-hour traffic. Yeah, it sucks, but there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. I just proceed to get angrier and angrier until I adjust my life so I don’t have to face it anymore. So I, being the 7-at-best that I am who makes a decent income but nothing impressive, know where my league is. And to this point, I have pretty much dated within it.
Miami is a great place to be young and single. Bars open until all hours, world-class nightlife, beautiful beaches, loose legal regulations (perhaps I should rethink that one) and perfect weather. But to raise a family and/or accept any responsibility? Forget it. The corruption alone is enough to drive you away, not to mention the traffic, the insanity of the people and the lack of any discernable American culture. But, if for some unknown reason I did a little to much X and decided I was in love and wanted to get married in Miami, it would be damn near impossible to find the kind of girl I would be looking for. "Oh, you’re too picky," you say? Okay, let’s say ALL I wanted in a girl was that she was single (meaning not-married because boyfriends are expendable) white non-hispanic, between the ages of 18 and 44, with no kids. And I use that upper age limit because that’s all the census would give me. Here’s what the US Census and the Miami-Dade County Department of Health tells me:
2,253,362 people in Dade county as of 2000 (I know there are probably more now, but let’s just use these numbers for argument’s sake).
52.5% are female
20.7% are White, non-Hispanic
30.1% are between 18-44
47.7% are married
(Please do not argue the validity of these numbers. This statistical interpretation is highly unscientific and is likely off by a few thousand people here and there. But the numbers are probably close enough to prove my point)
Extrapolated, that gives you a whopping 31,487 single white women in Dade County. Now, let’s take it a step further and eliminate single mothers. I have absolutely no idea what that statistic is, but given that 40% of the 40,000 births in Dade each year are to single mothers (most of them are African-American and Hispanic, but still) let’s say it’s 15%. This leaves us with about 25,000 single, childless white women. That is, ready, just over 1% of the population of the county. One person in 100 you meet fits these VERY loose requirements. If I were to cut that age range to 18-24, which is where a lot of the so called “hot” girls reside, that number drops to 10,153, or less than one half of one percent. Notice I did not once mention tall, attractive, large-breasted, skinny, educated, funny, intelligent, ambitious, down-to-earth or any of the other litany of things guys complain about not being able to find in a girl. Just demographically desireable. Pretty depressing if you are White Dade, isn’t it? That is why, should I get to the point that I want to “settle down,” I can pretty safely say it won’t be in Dade County.
I read all these New Yorkers complain about how awful dating is in that city. “Oh, guys are all pretentious, self-important assholes” and “Girls are all bitchy and shallow and only want a guy with money.” Yeah, but at least they exist. If I wanted to start being that picky, there might be 9 girls in the whole county that would fit my criteria. And even then they’d have to like me, which is highly unlikely. So for those of you not residing south of the Broward County Line, be grateful for what you have. And if you are a guy in Miami with a white girlfriend between 18-24, I hate to break it to you, but she’s got you by the balls. Sorry, Mike.