The $40 Rule is Easy to Keep When you Only Have $40
Tom Leykis, perhaps my greatest influence, often speaks of the The $40 Rule. This rule, for those who are too lazy to follow my link, states that a man should pay no more than $40 on a date for him and his date combined. Actually, she should be the one paying. Impossible, you say? Go to dinner at Macaroni Grill, don’t get drinks, an appetizer, or dessert, and you will find that you may even have enough left over for condoms on the way home. The trick, says Leykis, is ordering first and eating beforehand. This way you will not be hungry, and most likely not order much more than a bowl of soup. And we all know no woman will order more food than you that is not a complete pig. And if she is a complete pig, you really shouldn’t be on a date with her in the first place. The point is, if she really likes you, and is not just using you for food, drinks and whatever else you decide to buy her, it won’t really matter where or what you are eating, but that you are spending time together. Call it cheap, I say it’s looking for deeper meaning.
For years, I stuck to this rule like glue. I was damn good at it, and I took such pride in telling people how I never blew money on women. Actually, it was usually the other way around. Recently, a funny thing happened. I got this crazy thing called “expendable income.” And I realized, it is really easy to stick to the $40 rule when you are constantly flat fucking broke. But when your bank account is regularly in the four figures it becomes much more difficult to not start blowing cash on a date. Considering that I regularly spend $85 on a night out on myself, limiting myself to $40 for two people is becoming impossible. It’s kind of like the unattractive poor guy saying he’d never cheat on his wife. Sure, its easy when you never have the opportunity. Lets see what happens when you win the lotto.
The last few dates I have been on I have lost track of how much money I spent. This was not in a vain attempt to impress the girl, jbut rather in an attempt to keep myself entertained. And by entertained, I mean drunk. Perhaps this is because I am dating boring women, or perhaps it is because I have a much more carefree spending attitude than I did previously. But any way you cut it, the $40 rule has gone completely by the wayside.
So I apologize to Father Leykis, I have strayed form the path. My date spending is almost as out of control as my non-date spending, and it needs to be reeled in. The funny thing is, when I have gone out with a girl I really liked, I haven’t spent as much. Maybe I am more concerned with finding out if she really likes me, or perhaps I just don’t feel the need to order that fifth Jack and Coke to get myself through the evening. I’m not sure. I do know this, though: the next date I go on, I am bringing $40 in cash and no cards. Okay, maybe a gas card but that’s it. Because if a lady can’t appreciate me without being plied with alcohol or wooed with a fancy meal, she probably isn’t worth my time anyway.
Believe it or not, despite what I may go on and on about on this blog, if I am going to bother taking a girl on a date, it means I probably like her and enjoy her company. If I want to find a random girl to sleep with, I will stick to going out in groups and finding someone to take home. When it comes to actual dates, it is not ALL about sex. ALL about sex. If we get to date three and it ain’t happening, I figure I am probably being used for burgers at chain restaurants and no further plans are made. Because I’ll be goddamned if I’m going to Rule #2.