Are You Hot? Probably not.
Where do you rate on a scale of 1-10? Got that number in your head? The one you give when your amorous internet interests ask you for a figure? Okay, now drop it down two. That’s about where you are. I don’t care if nine guys asked you to go home with them last Friday night. I don’t care if a fat girl grabbed your ass and told you you were the hottest guy in the place. However hot you think you are, you’re not.
If you are female, guys will hit on you no matter what you look like. Because I’m pretty sure I am not the only guy out there with low standards, and we’re all horny. Similarly, if you are a mediocre girl hanging around with a bunch of heifers, you are going to get the most attention. And a lot of girls do this on purpose. But it doesn’t make you any better looking, it just makes you decent in comparison. So ladies between 5-7 out there, if you think you’re the belle of the ball because every other girl is over a buck eighty, think again. You still wouldn’t turn a single head at Pearl. Those girls are 8's and 9’s. You are a 7. At best.
And guys, while getting hit on by women in most likely a sign that you are at least attractive, it certainly doesn’t mean you are Brad-freaking-Pitt. First of all, unlike us, girls have varying definitions of what they consider “hot.” So while you may be the cutest guy in the place to a select few ladies, you may not even register to some others. And if the girls hitting on you are fat or old, trust me, the only reason they’re giving you attention is because everyone else turned them down. If they’re good-looking, well, you are probably doing okay in the looks department. But unless you are getting ass-on-demand without putting in any effort and having no game, chances are you’re not much higher than an 8.
My personal favorite has to be people who say “I’m attractive but I don’t photograph well.” Really? So you’re really hot but have no visual proof? Could it be that maybe you just aren’t as good looking as you think you are? Yeah, I think that’s a little closer to the truth. Anyone who prefaces every picture with “Oh, but I look awful,” is more than likely referring to themselves in real life rather than in photos. Because, really, when was the last time you heard the hottest girl you know apologizing for a picture?
In my experience, people always think they are about two notches higher on the scale than they are. I’m not sure why this is, but knocking yourself down a couple pegs seems to put you squarely where you stand in the eyes of others. But, for those who are either A) REALLY bad at math or B) Think this is a gross oversimplification, here are some guidelines to seeing if you fit into a semi-attractive category:
Ladies, getting hit on is not a measurement of your attractiveness. Guys are sluts, we don’t care. If you are getting free drinks regularly, you are probably no worse than a 5. If you are getting free drinks at a place where they cost $14 a piece, you are no worse than a 7. If you’re attractive enough to hold a man’s attention so much that he takes you to a restaurant, take the number of stars the restaurant is, multiply it by 2, and you have your rating. This formula seems to be pretty much foolproof.
Gents: In our case, it is really a function of how much ass you get with no money and no “game.” If you never have to hit on a girl to get laid, you’re not much below a 7. If, again, you are putting in ZERO effort, and girls are buying you drinks, asking you for your number and always call you, you’re looking in the 8-9 range. If you are not rich or famous and can get pretty much any girl in the bar with little more than a “Hello,’ you may quite possibly be a 10. We need to hang out.
So, folks, believe it or not, you are probably not much more than above-average looking. My apologies to the swimsuit and underwear models who are regular readers of White Dade, but to the rest of you, male and female, start being honest with yourself. The sooner you realize what league you’re in, the less you will be frustrated and disappointed with the quality of person you are dating. I’ve found my range (no, not fat or underage girls) and am happy with it. I suggest the rest of you do the same, or you will all die lonely, miserable, and highly unsatisfied.