Nice Girls Don't Use Condoms
It is really America’s dirty little secret, isn’t it? I mean, even the most sexually irresponsible figures around try to make it seem like condoms are just an accepted part of sexual activity. Tom Leykis, despite his uber-degenerate and irresponsible persona, preaches condom use on every show. Snoop Dogg says that he’s got "A pocket full of rubbers and my homeboys do too," but I doubt those pockets will be getting lighter any time soon. Gil Grissom finds used ones at sex clubs and orgies to help solve crimes. Which is funny, because I'm sure everyone having ecstasy-infused sex in the VIP room stops to put on a Jimmy before they have their mind-blowing orgasms. My point is nobody, and I mean nobody, is using condoms.
Oh, sure there are those super responsible and perpetually sober few that use them religiously, but those are the same people who floss their teeth. And hookers are certainly keeping latex futures prices up, but you really can't judge a society by the actions of its sex-industry workers. So again, I reiterate, nobody is using condoms.
A lot of you, probably those who aren’t having a lot of sex, say "Well, that’s just becuase you hook up with skanks and your friends are slimeballs so of course they’re going to not use condoms." Oh, really? My female friends, who are for the most part what I would call nice girls, talk to no end about how much they hate condoms. More than most guys I know. The ones with boyfriends never use them, often opting for my personal favorite, the ever-effective "pull out" method. Guys, of course, will hit it raw unless the girl suggests protection, and more than a few friends I know have lied about having a condom just so they didn’t have to use one. Only 20% of the girls I have been with have used protection every time with me, and this number seems to be pretty consistent as I look over the sexual histories of others. Playing with fire? Sure, but our degeneracy does not equate to condom use. It is, in fact, quite the opposite.
The only times I have been refused sex on the grounds of not having protection were with girls that can only be described as hookers you didn’t have to pay. These girls were literally sleeping with a different guy every weekend, so they knew they had to be careful. But nice girls who have to "get to know you" before they let you stick it in? They hate condoms with passion worthy of a suicide bomber. While in other facets of life these ladies may be more responsible than their morally casual counterparts, when it comes to keeping themselves protected their brains just seem to shut off.
Nice girls don’t keep condoms in their bedrooms. So when they finally do invite a guy upstairs, if he doesn’t have anything it’s bareback time. Come to think of it, I have never even had one of these types of girls suggest we use a condom, nonetheless actually have one. There was another girl, not necessarily "nice," but not a tramp either, who actually took one out, looked at it, then grabbed me and went ahead without one. I guess they figure they can roll the dice since they are only with a few new guys a year. These are probably the same girls that use the "Anal sex isn’t really sex, so I’m still a virgin" logic. Again, we really do need to hang out.
I suppose the ease of abortion and the rise of anti-HIV drugs have fueled our carelessness with protection. And I am far form one to lament it, as even the most intelligent and responsible people I know in normal life throw caution to the wind when it comes to putting on a condom. We can do Public Service Announcements and talk on TV and in music like using condoms is actually a part our culture, but in reality, it's not. We need to stop acting like safe sex is part of the American Way and admit that everybody has lot better time without a latex barrier. It may be irresposible and ultimately detremental to public health, but at least we wouldn't be kidding ourselves the way we are now. And nobody likes a hypocrite.