Thursday, April 13, 2006

Song of The Year and Some Topics For Debate

I knew this song was going to be good when it came on XM 81 at the gym last night and the DJ said, “I don’t know how to introduce this next song except, maybe, Hide the Kids?” It’s called “Bilingual” by a DJ named Jose Nunez. If you don’t like Dance Music, just give it a couple of minutes for the words to pick up. I’m guessing Praga Khan has started writing lyrics for this guy since Lords of Acid hasn’t come out with anything new in a while. And if any of you would like it on MP3, I’ll email it to you.

You know, if this song worked in reverse, I would seriously be trying to sleep with every non-English speaking female in Miami.

Some reader of this blog has started another blog devoted to my cyber-stalker Dennis. I kind of liked it. Whoever started it, nice work. .Similarly, if you have me on your blogroll and you’re not on mine, and you’re not afraid of mean-spirited comments from a loser posing as me, let me know. I may not have caught your blog yet and I’d love to see who else is reading my nonsensical rants.

What do Miami, Florida State, Florida, Arkansas, Tulane, Ole Miss, Kentucky, Iowa, Oklahoma and Washington have in common? Perhaps they all read The Porn Czar.

Some debate topics from Tuesday’s Heat Game in the cheap seats:

College football is the only sport where pretty much the best team over the course of a whole season wins the championship. Not the best team at the end of the season, but over the entire one. As opposed to college basketball, where the best team the last month wins. Because I don’t think too many people could argue that Florida was really the best team over the course of this entire season.

Tim Duncan is not a center. He is a Power Forward, and should not really be compared to Shaq or Kareem or any other big-time center since that’s not the position he plays. Compare him to Karl Malone or Kevin McHale. He may play like a center, but he’s not.

A team of 5 Manute Bols vs. a team of 5 Mugsy Bogues. Who wins?

Hybrid cars are not an economically sound purchase at this point. The savings in fuel do not adequately offset the higher purchase price. Similarly, their production by car companies will only explode when there is a significant savings to the consumer. Until then they will be the “look-at-me-I-can-afford-to-save-the-earth” show off toy or upper middle class liberals

Would you break up with a girl if she didn’t at least finish blowjobs?

Girls on the pill have a low sex drive.
This is a result of taking birth control. Of course, for some reason, college girls on the pill are freaks.


At 12:03 PM, Anonymous J said...

Alright. I will reiterate my points here...jerks.

College Football: so you like the BCS??

Duncan v Shaq: Duncan, the Mailman, Nowitsky etc all have a 20-25 ft jumper. They are PF's and this is an element of a C's game that missing. Different role, different position, different player

Hybrids: it does give you a more env-friendly, futuristic, cool car that you can feel good about. if you're into that you should buy it. thing is, its a freakin' FEATURE. no one debates the "value" of a frickin' sunroof, leather seats, or a V-8 engine. You buy that stuff b/c you enjoy having it and are willing to pay for it. Freaking anti-environmentalists.

Also, ppl usually shop for cars in a certain price range--i don't think your typical hybrid buyer was off to buy a shitty Civic and got sidetracked $8000. They are more likely looking at cars of similar price ranges--aka the nice Accords or Acuras, and therefore ARE saving gas money compared to buying those cars of similar cost.

At 12:10 PM, Anonymous Dennis said...

nice song if you're gay. a drum machine with a girl reading a script. do you listen to that when J is over for the night? do he drive his hybrid to your place? you can always be counted on to show what a retard you are. lets see if i have time today to leave some comments for you on other site. thanks for a lameass blog devoted to me. what happened to the physical threat? i'll be waiting for ash to come protect you from my big bad mean words.

At 12:12 PM, Anonymous J said...

Manutes vs Mugsies: ummm yeah height is a decided advantage in basketball. to be short and successful you must be EXCELLENT at all facets of the game. However, if tall, you can be terrible at everything and be a millionaire and in the league for yrs (see Bradley & Bol et al.). Mugsy Boughes could be 8 steps quicker than Manute...but that is the length of his forearm.

Final score: Manutes 38, Mugsies 10

At 12:27 PM, Anonymous Cliff said...

First of all UF was 17-0 to start the season, stumbled in a few games to a #2 seed NCAA team, and to the team that won the NIT. However they vindicated themselves by beating that same team for the SEC tournament title. Oh yeah, they also blew out final four team LSU twice!..And LSU beat Duke, the team you said was the best all season. So they started the season 17-0, ended with an 11-0 finish, and completely dominated the National Title game. What more does a team have to do! Just because you didn't pay attention to them and didn't know who they were doesn't mean they didn't have the best team..

Hybrids, have no problem with them, way too expensive for me, and most...

Duncan will always be viewed more of a post up "Center Like" player in my mind, and probably in the memories of most, so screw the "F" in front of his name

You have the argument wrong; It was Mugsy Bogues vs. Manute analysis: Bol can't even move the ball up the court, has it stolen from him 100 times, and when he tries to just set up in front of the hoop Mugsy shoots from the outside and draws goal tend after goal tend...

Birth Control- Apparently it effects some more than others...I have seen the noticeable differences in sex drive...and Boob size though! So it's a trade off..

Was this the biggest little comment in the world?!: Yes, eat a dick Graig...

At 12:34 PM, Blogger MonkeyPants said...

Define "finish" blow jobs.

At 12:54 PM, Blogger White Dade said...

J - Yes, I like the BCS. Flawed, but more often than not, the correct champ is crowned. More than any other sport save for MAYBE the NBA.

J2 - Sounds about right

Cliff - I believe UF was a 4 seed. Which means, in the eyes of the selection committee, they were no better than the 13th best team going into the tourney. And most of those guys follow college hoops

MPants - Finsh = Bring you to orgasm with your mouth. Spit/swallow is not the argument.

At 12:57 PM, Blogger White Dade said...

I stand corrected: UF was a 3. Still no better than 9th.

At 1:16 PM, Anonymous Cliff said...

OK J then by your analysis, Mugsy Bogues was an EXCELLENT player in all facets of the game...because he averaged 10 more mpg to Bol's, (and let's be honest most of Bol's mpg could be classified as "freak show" minutes to sell tickets and keep fans around for garbage 4th quarter play)...Bogues also averaged over 5 more points per game, almost 8 more assists...But you will say, "But of course, Bol was only in there to Rebound!"...Ok then, but in that category he averages a wopping 1.6 more rebounds per game over Bogues!!! This game isn't even close...Final score Mugsies 86, Bol's 12...and that's if the Bol's don't quit after the 3rd quarter due to lack of conditioning and embarrasment!

At 1:18 PM, Anonymous Cliff said...

"However, if tall, you can be terrible at everything and be a millionaire and in the league for yrs (see Bradley & Bol et al.). "

Oh yeah, Bogues also played 14 seasons to Bol's 10...Mugsy clearly was rediculously good...

At 1:30 PM, Anonymous Manute's Boy said...

Seriously do you know hoops?? This argument is basically whether or not Mugsy's scoring vs Manute's D and shot-blocking. Manute Bol and others like him are for DEFENSE not rebounding. Dudes like him alter shots of 6'10" guys and keep them from scoring. 5'2" dudes don't stand a chance.

Obviously Mugsy was a better player--no one is doubting that. He was a stand-out PG at Wake and a good PG in the NBA. He WAS excellent in all skills except for the fact that his height limited him. He could probably shoot lights out...unless someone was guarding him. If that someone happens to be 2'4" taller than you (about 40% taller!) you don't stand a chance. Manute probably had about an 8 ft wingspan. Thats just ridiculous. And for a starter that has the ball in his hands for the majority of the time...7.7 career ppg is not too great.

At 1:31 PM, Anonymous Cliff said...

"I stand corrected: UF was a 3. Still no better than 9th."

And why was that, because apparently the Big East, ACC, and Big Ten were SOOOO superior and deserved higher seeds...WOOOPSIE! Two SEC Final Four Teams! No teams from ANY of those conferences. And THAT my friend is why we have a problem with the BCS as well...because old guys who watch 10% of games and never stepped on the field are not the best indicators for the best teams...(the selection committee in no way would be considered basketball "experts")

At 1:36 PM, Anonymous J said...

again, i never said Mugsy wasn't good, quite the opposite actually. in basketball height often negates skill...especially when it is against 5'2". this IMO is even if the opposition is nearly 11' (with arms) of unathletic uncoordinated height.

At 1:38 PM, Blogger Betty said...

I have to be honest, I haven't "finished" a bj since college. And I think this used to piss my ex off, but honestly it was always a precurser to sex.

But I wouldn't swallow: STDs.

At 1:46 PM, Anonymous Cliff said...

In a half court game maybe the Bol's have a shot. In a full court game the Mugsies score a Billion points off fast breaks and lay ups. The Bol's will never be in position in time to "alter" any shots, with their great "defense"...

Give a great blow job once in a while without expecting sex. It's the little things that will keep your man happy...and that's about the best thing you could do!

At 1:48 PM, Anonymous Cliff said...

and a Dennis Fag comment come in 5..4..3..2..

At 1:49 PM, Anonymous Manute rules! said...

sorry betty but putting diseased things into your mouth will put you at risk for STD's, regardless of your preferred method of disposal.

that is, unless you get a cootie shot, those are foolproof (i hope...)

At 1:51 PM, Blogger Andy said...

College Football - Everyone knows the Zips from Akron get the shaft every year. The BCS is a nightmare.

Duncan at PF - Who cares, KG is still the best player in the league pound for pound.

Hybrids - BMW has a full line of cars that run on liquid hydrogen. If I'm ever to buy an expensive, earth friendly car, it'll be one of those. (now, where to get that pesky hydrogen...)

BJs - Just happy to enjoy it for what it is.

Song of the year - umm...really? Sorry, i wouldn't even call dance (or trance or techno or whatever) music. I call it "music"

The only girls I know on birth control have it because they like to get freaky - hooray!

Bol vs. Bogues - the audience wins. This would be the most entertaining game of all time.

At 1:58 PM, Anonymous Cliff said...

Yes Andy, I too made the argument that 5 Kevin Garnett's win over any other player in the NBA..I agree with your statement..

At 2:00 PM, Blogger jenjen said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 2:03 PM, Blogger jenjen said...

I don't give a shit about Miami basketball. I hate Shaq and Kobe for that matter.

Duncan is my favorite player in the NBA because he has a nice smile and his good guy demeanor too. His coloring is nice too.

Agreed, hybrids are for snobby half wits. Surfer Mike's friend drove from Oregon to Mexico $free with a diesel Mercedes conversion kit and several stops at BajaFresh.

In line with Betty about the BJs but I'm guessing you probably don't wish for more detail where SurferMike is concerned. Will ask him later how much he cares.

the Pill - I too experienced the truth behind the claim back in '03.
Some fucked up consequences if the purpose for quitting is greater sex drive.

At 2:13 PM, Anonymous Dennis said...

betty--how is you cat? i guess it got sick of living with a whore.

At 2:14 PM, Anonymous dennis said...

do you guys jerk each other off before or after you watch basketball?

At 2:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

here's a typical shining example of FSU--this former player has a bit of an accident here. pretty funny

At 2:53 PM, Blogger MonkeyPants said...

Well, I have to be told when a BJ is about to be... uh... I have a terrible gag reflex. So if that leads to being dumped -- so be it - you should be happy to be getting one in the first place. There's no spitting/swallowing question... you finish in my mouth, I throw up on you.

I think refusal of giving BJ's would be the dumping question, not how they're finished. If you're seriously that picky, I hope you have them lined up around the block.

Oh, and I expect it to be reciprocated, that's for damn sure.

At 2:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ever hear of instant messenger? this is the worst post ever. are you trying to get back on deadspin?

At 3:05 PM, Blogger White Dade said...

White Dade said...
Cliff/J - Glad to see you using the forum I sset up for you

Betty - Well, if anyone had any theories as to you and I's involvemnt, it officially ended with that comment

Andy - Yes, audience deifnitely wins. I'd get that shit on full-prive Pay Per View if I could

Dennis - That could quite possibly have been your most inappropriate comment ever.

Anon - Did we really need any more proof?

Mpants - Funny, I was reading oyur blog just as you left this comment. WIERD! My first g/f was like that, but she finshed as much as she could. I tinhk our concern was more with the girls who didn't even bother finishing, or finished with a five-minute hand-job. And reciprication is fine by me.

JenJen - Thank you for sparing us the gory detials. But where was the backup when everyone was ripping me for sleeping with a 16 year old?

Anon - If I was whoring myself to Deadspin, I would have devoted the whole post to Mugsy vs. Manute. And Jenn Sterger. I was relaying some conversations that took place at the Heat game. Not my strongest effort, no, but my worst post ever is still probably the Strip and Slide.

At 3:13 PM, Blogger Ashburnite said...

wait...there are women that don't "finish"???

At 3:16 PM, Anonymous dennis said...

ash--you always finish. finish your 3rd piece of cake. fatass.

At 3:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow Dennis, very Andrew Dice Clay of you today...except you do your act in front of 10 people on a message board, and he did it in front of sold out arenas...

At 4:19 PM, Anonymous Joe said...

College Hoops is better imo, but then again, my Huskies have been shitacular as of late on the field. The parity in College Hoops makes it more exciting, and yes my Washington Huskies was robbed.

Duncan, I would say a F/C. He can play both, however, he really has played most of his career as a PF, as he played along side David Robinson and now a slew of other centers.

I'd have to take Manute Bols. They wouldn't even have to dribble. They would just have to put their hands up and pass the ball down the court. In his prime Manute was a defensive menace, and would alter and swat so many shots it would be tough for the little Mugsys. Possibly the most entertaining game of all time?

Hybrid Cars, don't tell me you havn't seen the new South Park episode where they call San Francisco the smuggest place on earth! Anyways, people who drive them are often very smug. Oh and you can get a Civic Hybrid.

Blowjobs, can't really comment on that, but I'd say yes ... and no. It would be a good letter to Dan Savage of The Stranger.

The Pill. There was a girl I was trying to get with, lost touch and 2 weeks later she was pregnant and was supposedly on the pill. Suprisingly a lot of the girls on Maury Povich were on the pill.

At 4:26 PM, Blogger White Dade said...

Ash - Do you mean finish as in they finish or finish as in finish the guy off orally. Because, at 28, you should know that both are true. And, quite often, the same.

Dennis - YOu might want to see a picture before opening your figuative mouth.

Anon - More than 10. Give me some goddam credit

Joe - And in the case of 2 year old L'Demitrius, Joe, you are NOT the Father!!!!

At 4:44 PM, Anonymous Johnson said...

I actually wrote a post on the Maury Povich paternity tests a long time ago.

I'll weigh in on the other issues such as football, Mugsy vs. Manute and bj's later.

At 5:24 PM, Blogger Ashburnite said...

wow think of that all by yourself or did your mom help you with it?

At 8:07 PM, Anonymous nicole said...

I heard about the hybrid backlash on the news this morning. They said that people are turning more and more to LUXURY hybrids rather than large gas guzzlers like Hummers and Escalades.

But hey, if you've got $75K to spend on a car then I'm sure that extra hybrid dime really isn't much of an issue.

At 8:48 AM, Anonymous Johnson said...

College Football--Well, the BCS is flawed but you get a more worthy champion than in b-ball. In college b-ball, it's more about who get's hot at the right time. I hate UF with a passion but will at least give them props on doing what they had to do.

Tim Duncan as a PF--I don't know if I don't care or if I don't care since this pertains to the NBA post 2000.

Hybrid cars--If it's not some sort of crappy station wagon, The Johnson aint buying it no matter how fuel efficient and Earth friendly it is. Besides, Mother Earth brings us fire, flood and disasters, what has she ever done for us?

5 Manute Bols beat 5 Mugsy Bogues. People also forget that Bols was a pretty good three point shooter in addition to being a great shot blocker. I believe he once hit about 9 or so in a game, a record at the time. Would be a fun game to watch though. Did anyone see Bol vs. Refridgerator Perry in Celebrity Boxing a few years back? Hilarity ensued.

I wouldn't break up with a girl b/c she couldn't finish a bj, however, not even attempting to do one or only giving bj's out grudgingly is grounds for ending a relationship.

Girls on the pill with low sex drive--Well, my last g/f was on it and wanted it all the time. She's also a terrible slut so that might be a factor as well.

At 10:05 AM, Blogger jenjen said...

I wrote an entire 3 page blog on being a little slut at 16 my head that night at 3a. Sorry, I had the backup for you, just no follow thru. Will definitely address this soon. The seriousness of your commentors bored me and just to sift through meaningless bullshit about a poor little raped child was ridiculous enough, I left.

At 10:13 AM, Blogger april said...

This is exactly why I've never really gotten into basketball. Or baseball for that matter. I'm a huge football fan and like you said, usually the best team over the entire season wins. Although in the NFL, I think it's a little different. Most teams will either start off really good then go to shit or start off bad then go on a winning streak. Anyway, I can't wait for football season to start back up.

As for a man breaking up with a girl for not finishing bj's, it depends. If she absolutely refuses to finish, she needs to hit the road. Bitches shouldn't be that uptight. But if she's just scared of "the kids" he should work her into the finish. Because jizz, like beer, is an acquired taste.

At 10:55 AM, Blogger Sofi said...

Would love to be on your blog roll. I'm not scared!

BJ's - I always try to finish, but anything over 10 minutes can get uncomfortable. Lock jaw is not fun.

At 11:24 AM, Anonymous A. said...

BCS: A playoff system would rock.

Duncan: Power forward.

Manute: Bogues has better ballhandling and steals. However, Manutes can just pass the ball over Bogues head. Manutes win via keepaway and dunks.

Hybrid cars: Decreased tax incentives. Lower priced hybrids. Gas savings. Increasing Gas prices. Draw.

BJs: Not finishing and refusing to finish are 2 different things. Not finishing because it's foreplay: acceptable. Refusing to finish: dumpable offense.

Pill: College girls who choose to be on the pill are on them because they get, and like having, sex on a daily/weekly basis. Whereas their peers who have a lower sex drive won't bother with the hassle and expense of the pill because they don't need/want sex as much. IOW, an 18 year old college girl who goes out of her way to get on the pill likes dick.

At 8:09 PM, Blogger angel, jr. said...

going to try and find the song to give it a listen.


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