Tuesday, May 16, 2006

The Stories Behind the Stories

A lot of people ask me where I get the ideas for a lot of these rants. Well, many are told as stories, so I guess those explain themselves, and some give some back story to explain. But several rants are inspired by events, conversations, and people who do not get mentioned. So here is a giant thank you to all of them…

: My roommate and I, some years ago, actually coined the phrase “White Dade.” My apologies to him, since I forgot who actually said it first, but it is a term we use to describe the Americans left in Miami. (I actually wrote a post about this a few months ago). We agreed that if we ever started a band, it would be called “White Dade,” and feature all band members on the cover wearing Polos tucked into shorts with loafers and no socks. Since the band never came to fruition, I used the name for the blog. Funny that he stumbled on it three months after its creation. Countless other posts have been inspired by hypothetical conversations we’ve had, or rants we have gone on while sitting at the corner table at the Tavern They include: Sports Knowledge is Not A Turn-On, Anything involving getting away with Drinking and Driving (ironic, I know), Bumgear, a concept he created long ago, The Correlation between “The Fire Inside” and the month of March, The March Conversation, and, most recently, my "special" counsin's inner monologue. This is a hypothetical we actually threw around every time “Let’s Get Retarded” would come on at a bar. Also, he provided some of the answers, indirectly, for my interview with anonymous since he was one of my better anonymous commenters before his retirement. Although that post was much more inspired by a commenter’s manifesto on This is What We Do Now.

Alice: Aside form showing me how to set up a blog, post pictures, link shit, and pretty much everything else on Blogger, Alice has given me a great many post ideas via our daily email/chat conversations. The Golden Girls post, I think was the first, but also her discussion of some of her friends’ activities inspired Hookers Don't Count. The rant against New Yorkers and their dating practices was also mostly directed at Alice, and the stalker piece was directed at, shall we say, someone she knew but didn’t want to.

Stripper Ex: Any piece on here that talks about my non-attraction to ethnic women, the joys of being single, avoiding relationships and strippers is inspired by my Asian Stripper Ex in LA. Someday, I will write a post detailing how truly awful that relationship was, and how it taught me never to date someone just for the sake of having a girlfriend, but suffice to say that year inspired a lot of the attitudes you read about here. Before her, I hated being single. Before her, I thought I could be consistently attracted to a non-White girl. Before her, I still thought dating a stripper might be cool. Anyway, thanks LeeAnne, you have been an indirect negative muse.

Graig: Aside form actually writing about four posts, Graig was the person who first showed me the infamous FSU Cowgirl pictures. In addition to that, he also filled me in on her status as a pseudo-celebrity and sent me the Deadspin links to her various projects. Yes, without Graig, my notoriety as the leading Cowgirl-hater would not exist. That, and my friend Patrick who brought that Maxim on the road trip to Alabama that finally pushed me over the edge with their over-exposure and led to my most-famous piece. A lot of conversations I’ve had with Graig inspired other posts like the one about the actual numbers of White Girls in Miami, White girls always thinking we're hitting on them (that was actually inspired by an incdent where Graig asked a girl at a pizza shop if she was someone he knew, and she gave him a little too much attitude), and whether it’s worse to fuck a fat girl or be seen in public with her. Oh, and his incessant sending of pictures of a girl he slept with on a cruise caused me to post my first ever picture on "Okay, So You Banged a Hot Chick..." (another hypothetical thought up by me and my roommate).

Johnson: He has a few posts named after him, and has inspired pretty much every post about banging fat girls. Because he was doing it long before me. His incessant licking of Jack Bauer’s nut sack was the impetus for my "rant" against all the other Bauer-blowers. I would also be remiss if I did not mention that Johnson was the first to post my Jenn Sterger rant on a UM Football message board, which got the whole ball rolling.

The IJC: His was the first blog I read and he gave me the insight to notice them when they are around. I think I have about four posts about my experiences with Jewish girls, and I owe them all to IJC. Thanks for that and the tour of Murray Hill.

Dream Girl: I went out with a girl a few times in November and December who, for the amount of interactions we had, was the reason behind a good number of posts. Several have been deleted, but the Dog Track Date, the Hating on White Girls and the Sports Knowledge were all written after experiences with her.

I have one friend in particular whose antics have driven me to write The Rules of It's Over, The Letter to the Recently Single Friend, and How to Know When It's Time to Leave. He knows it, so I have no qualms telling him openly. Another friend, in New York, was also implicated in the open letter as well as my Fun With Tourists.

My female friends who talk about sex all the time inspired both my posts about girls being bad in bed back in December and Nice Girls Don't Use Condoms. I have had the condom conversation with the Rommate and Graig many times as well.

My old Boss from California got a dedication, but also inspired “Why are You in My Office” along with, more importantly, my most recent boss.

The Ultra article was something I originally wrote for Heather, which she rejected, and I posted on a slow day.

I wrote the 6 part Sex Guide for my sister, but you all know that. It was a completely wasted effort.

Some of you know you inspired posts, and don’t want to be recognized. Others I have mentioned in the posts themselves as inspirations, and often linked you. So I will leave it at that. Anyone who I forgot, my apologies, let me know if you were overlooked.


At 6:37 PM, Blogger jenjen said...

I truly love all of your friends. Thanks for sharing all of the great stories.

p.s. Leann assured at least one co-worker and surfermike that you weren't gay...just because of your excellent fashion sense, smack, smack.

At 7:49 PM, Blogger Ashburnite said...

ummm...so I haven't inspired you at all?? Frankly, I'm hurt :-(

At 9:32 AM, Blogger Betty said...

Finally- someone is giving me the credit due- the rest of you, you know who you are. I am going to start putting the word Muse on my resume. I am full of great ideas- just don't have the capacity nor the patience to constantly execute them.

At 12:02 PM, Blogger heather said...

there is something oddly hilarious about seeing the word "rejected" in a sentence realted to you...even if it was an editorial rejection.

you know it had nothing to do with the quality of the article - just the fit. but we've already been through that.

At 12:03 PM, Blogger heather said...

and that's supposed to be "related", not "realted". but you probably already knew that.

At 12:58 PM, Blogger angel, jr. said...

Ahhh the old credit roll. Everyone has to thank someone for something. Especially girls, you have to thank them, otherwise they give you that annoying cold shoulder thing, which you don't really notice until they tell you they are giving you the cold shoulder.

At 1:23 PM, Blogger Kirsten said...

speaking of the FSU chick....she was on my local news here in Tampa the other nite...I did actually think of you...lol...even tho I don't usually leave a comment here, I figured I would share that with you...have a great day..
:)Just me

At 1:38 PM, Blogger White Dade said...

JJ - Yes, that and it gave Gene's wife a smoking buddy for the night.

Ash - I think I credited you on the posts you inspired. This was for the people who never got their due.

Betty - Yes, well, you'd been bitcing about it for long enough..

Heather - Yes, I know it was a fit thing. Still, me being rejected is hilarious? Glad you can laugh at my misfortune

Angel - Yeah. Tell me about it.

Kirsten - Why is that girl still on the news??!! WHYYYY??? For the love of God, I thought after Playboy she would fade quitly into the sunset. I guess some peopel just don't quit. Does anyone have any interest in her anymore? Oh, and NY-ers: She'll be in town this week. Perhaps you could have another Happy Hour at On The C in her honor.

At 2:27 PM, Blogger jenjen said...

My sister is in Playboy this summer. I told you she's rated like that fsu girl.
I can't tell you what month though, I don't want everyone looking at her...ha,ha, ha.

At 3:18 PM, Anonymous Johnson said...

Glad to see that The Johnson has inspired you to reach for the bottom of the barrel. To quote Marge Simpson, "let that be a lesson to you kids. Aim low. Aim so low that no one cares if you miss."


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