On Sluts and Players
Here’s another gripe I am tired of hearing from women: “It’s such a double standard. If a guy sleeps around he’s a player, but if a girl sleeps around, she’s a slut.” While, societally there may be more of a stigma attached to being a promiscuous female, the way you girls are phrasing this is just dreadfully awful. Because there is a difference between a player and a slut, whether you be male or female. And, being the public-service-type blog that I try to be here at White Dade, I am going to lay it out here for you.
The double standard exists not because of some deep-seeded sexism or desire to repress female sexuality. I think the 1960’s pretty much took care of that for anyone who does not memorize scriptures in their spare time. It exists because women, no matter their appearance, can get sex whenever they want it. From almost anyone they want to. So if you are getting some from a lot of different guys there is really no achievement in doing so and therefore you are not highly regarded. For men, sleeping with different women is markedly more difficult, so if they are able to accomplish this there is more of a feeling of achievement than of degradation. Now, do societal pressures lend themselves to perpetuating the double standard? I’m sure me and
I have heard women try to flip it around and refer to promiscuous men as “male whores” and “male sluts.” Your attempts at gender-degrading equality are cute and somewhat accurate, but many men are still players. Here is the difference: A slut sleeps with anyone who will sleep with them, a player sleeps with whoever they want to. So those who would call Colin Farrell a slut are dead wrong. He may get a lot of ass, but he is sleeping with whoever he wants. Your typical US Marine, on the other hand, is a slut. Because he will fuck anything with a vagina, no matter if she is old, fat, married or a post-op. You see the difference? A player sits back, says, “I want to bang that girl,” and pretty much does, often using lies, deceit and money to get his goal. Players are the “bad boys” and “assholes” that girls complain about all the time but still end up sleeping with because they know no better. A slut sits in the corner of the bar and waits for the first girl who grabs his ass and the promptly spends the rest of the night with her. Male sluts are just as sad as female sluts, as they often use sex to bolster their sagging self-esteem and have no standards for whom they will be intimate with. So, to summarize, Players are bad guys who get what they want, sluts are nice guys who take whatever they can get.
The same is true of women. There are women you could classify as “sluts” who generally sleep with any guy who gives them the time of day. Again, this has a lot to do with poor self-image and is not healthy. There are also promiscuous girls who are highly selective, but understand that they can get sex from whoever they want and take those opportunities. I don’t know if a word exists for these girls, but I seem to encounter a lot of them. And lastly, there a female players. These girls use men for money, vacations, jewelry or whatever else they want, and often do not even exchange sex for the goods. Sure, she will lead a man to think she is sexually interested, but she too is “playing” the guy for whatever it is she wants from him. I find these girls to be utterly disgusting and generally avoid them at all costs. They are of the same breed as the male “player” and when they meet it is often interesting to see who comes out on top (figuratively). So, again, to summarize, a girl is only a slut if she is promiscuous AND non-selective, and is a player if she leads men on to achieve some sort of material gain. Selective girls who get a lot of dick? Somebody give me a term. I’d say it’s half my sexual history.
So, let’s stop mislabeling these poor people. A slut is a slut, a player is a player, regardless of gender. Sure, a double standard exists, but I think we are getting further and further away form it as time goes on and that will only mean more sex for everyone. Hooray! I am thinking of a Cosmo-esque quiz to determine if you are a player or a slut. And it will be gender neutral.Y’all think this is a good idea? Maybe not.