Simple Pleasures in Iraq
All of you who read and responded to Tara's tag of simple pleasures should appreciate this one. Agian, I call upon Sgt. Biff in Iraq to enlighten us to some of the simple pleasures that one may enjoy when faced with searing heat, constant mortar attacks, and a daily threat of instant death.
Reading through your blog and happened upon the 10 simple pleasures. No one should have to be positive about anything, but if you tried it, I’ll try it. I feel as though I need to respond and use your public forum should you deem it necessary. Let’s see how positive the average non combatant thinks I am.
- The fact that a mortar round/snipers bullet/IED did not kill me today.
- Marlboro Reds. As often as I can get them.
- The fact that I do not have to use MRE toilet paper. True, I still do not have a civilized place to move my bowels, but at least I can do it without saving tiny squares of white sandpaper for three days.
- The fact that body armor works. But unfortunately not on anything more serious than small arms.
- The fact that I have not become plagued with one of the local virulent diseases yet.
- The fact that I am not required to pay for my own ammunition.
- The fact that I can be as negative as I want here, and no one says that I should have something to be positive about.
- Bottled water. Because anything else will give you one of the aforementioned diseases.
- Accurate 155mm artillery fire, because when you get yourself into something you cannot get out of, explosions that will level several buildings on command are a great thing to have on the other end of the radio.
- Just knowing that when you have those moments that you just want to kill someone, there is going to be someone soon who shoots at you, and will give you the chance.
Semper Fi, Segeant Biff. Lets hope you make it back as more than a torso.