4 Rants For The Fouth: Rant #4 - I am Considering Going Back into Therapy
Okay, not so much a rant, but a personal observation. Anyone who reads this blog or knows me in person knows that I am one of the great haters of all time. It’s just what I do. And that is not necessarily a good thing. I am getting really tired of being so angry at everything all the time, and disliking things to a point where I scream at harmless boaters for playing their music too loud. But the tirades go on in my head all day, every day, and only a select few even make it to the virtual pages of White Dade. It is not a fun way to go through life, and while it may make for funny blog posts, it also makes for a miserable existence. Why do I hate Dwyane Wade? What did he do to me? Why can’t I just accept the fact that there is dominant Hispanic Culture in
Similarly, I have come to the conclusion that my fear of rejection is becoming crippling to me both personally and professionally. Fortunately, I am good looking enough to attract women without ever having to approach them, and I am smart enough to get jobs without being turned down for too many. But I know that if I ever actually took the time to put myself out there, be it in sales or with women, I would be doing at least ten times better than I am now. My Mormon friend who went on a
And lastly, I read a piece by this girl last week that believe it or not got me thinking. I am treating this girl as just another blogger form here on in, so I have no problem saying that it was not a bad piece. In it, she analyzes different types of guys and why they all basically suck. And I fall square into the neurotic category. Maybe it’s because I’m Jewish, I don’t know. But I stress out about women more than anyone I know. If I like a girl, I am playing “check the cell phone” 24 hours a day to see if she called, and then constantly wonder what I did wrong if she doesn’t. I am cranky and irritable and pretty much act like a junkie going through withdrawal until I hear form her. I need constant external validation, and completely freak out if I am ignored. Again, why I typically end up with crazy girls. I really need to learn to relax with this, but despite any success I’ve had with women, I still lack any real confidence that any of them actually like me unless they give me obsessive amounts of attention. And there is a difference between liking you and wanting to fuck you.
There, perhaps the most personal, insightful post ever. But now you know me better, so there. All of these issues need to get worked out because they are really making my life unpleasant. I’m not going to go back on medication, but I would like to know why I act this way and figure out what I can do to fix it. If any of you know a good therapist in the