Monday, July 31, 2006

Iraqi Graffiti

Have you ever wondered what Graffiti was like in the days before the plague of gang violence and tagging? I hadn’t ever thought of it, but now I believe that I have found the answer in the walls of anything that can be written on, in the various hell holes I call home. Below are some examples which I found great humor in.

Bus stop in Al Asad. (AA is a large base which has an internal bus system to take marines to and from various parts of it, seeing as we do not all have our own vehicles. The bus stop is a plywood and 2X4 shed built by the Seabees. I spent a little time there. Probably because it is nice and safe)

“Ninja fact 26. Ninja’s don’t like waiting for buses”

“Seabee fact 1001.23: Seabees like drinking beer more than they like working”

“Seabee fact 1001.23A: The only thing Seabees like better than drinking beer is sucking dick”

PortaJohn in MP compound in Fallujah

“Demons begone from my ass. This I command thee”

“Due to KBR policy, all turds longer than 6” must be hand lowered” (KBR is a civilian contractor, whose policies and practices make sense to no one)

PortaJohn next to Engineers compound

“BEWARE OF THE JUS!” Immediately below is a crude picture of who I assume to be Hitler. Are all racists illiterate?

PortaJohn in MEF Compound

“Re-enlistment survey, yes no” The no column has it by about 80 or so.

“Nuke Iraq survey, yes no” Here the yes column has it. Apparently MEF is taking the surveys to where the marines will have the time to take them.

“How to win the hearts and minds? Two to the heart, one to the mind” Apparently suggesting that murder is better than friendship with insurgents.

Outhouse in Ramadi (notorious for the mortars raining down several times daily)

“Mortar explosions help the poo come out”

“Here is the home of those who DIDN’T shit their pants today”

And my favorite, in the camp where I usually stay:

“This is your home. Until I stop making money from my defense investments. Deal with it. Signed: GW Bush”

*For those who are a litte slow, this is a message from Sgt. Biff in Iraq. I am not serving in Iraq currently, as my marine Corps contract expired about a year ago. I did not write this, but I thought is was still damn funny.


At 4:29 PM, Blogger Raincouver said...

I have a former colleague who's working as a sub to KBR in Kandahar. He's not ex-military, though, but technical. Lots of stories... some funny, but mostly scary. And yes, it sounds like one of their policies all right!

At 4:54 PM, Blogger angel, jr. said...


At 7:05 PM, Blogger Captain Caveman said...

Man, troops in Iraq today have so many luxuries. I always just dug a hole and crapped next next to my tank.

At 7:36 PM, Blogger Ashburnite said...

very funny. I personally love the last one.

At 1:51 PM, Blogger White Dade said...

Rain - I had never heard of KBR before I read this, but they seem to be a typical miiltary sub clusterfuck.

Angel - I'm sure Biff appreciates that

CC - Wow. I've heard of that happeneing but had never read quite such a descriptive story. Thanks.

Ash - I guess it is okay to question your CIC within the walls of an outhouse.

At 10:39 PM, Anonymous nicole said...

The Hitler doodle grabbed my attention. He looks like he's been chewing rocks.

Very funny!

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