White Dade's Guide to Getting Casual Sex
It seems, to me anyway, that there is a venerable glut of blogs devoted to showing guys how to get laid. Or, more specifically, how to be a "player." The majority of them, while highly satirical in nature, still instruct men to perpetuate the "asshole" persona in order to get girls while proposing a confusing list of rules and guidelines on how to fuck with woman’s head. This is way too confusing. In my experience, casual sex is way easier than that. So, as a "nice guy" who has had success at least in the realm of quantity if not quality, I would like to provide a little insight on what it takes to get casual sex on a regular basis without having to become that loathsome individual called "the player."
1. Make the Gym Your Best Friend – I mean, make it your second highest priority after work. If you are unemployed, it should be the main event of your day. This is by far the most important thing on this list. Lift for size if you are small, lift for definition if you are big. Muscles are the quickest way into a girl's pants. Maybe not huge ones, but at least noticeable. When you have a hot body, the easy sex is yours to lose.
2. Spend Time Picking out Your Clothes – Every guy comedian has a bit about how women spend hours shopping and men spend about five minutes. "I'm like a guided missile. Go in, buy my pants, get out." Well, did you ever stop to think that if you spent time trying on a lot of different things and finding ones that made you look really, really good, you might get more attention from women? It's true. I have shirts that are 75-80% guarantees of at least getting hit on and/or a drink bought for me. And it does not involve spending money, you can find clothes that make you look good at Target..
3. Tan. – Sound gay? Ever heard of "Tall Dark and Handsome." If you go tanning, you've got one of those out of the way early. It is work, but there are few people who do not look better with a solid tan.
4. Take Care of Yourself – If you are over 25, you don't look as good as you used to. Period. So you can say I'm gay for getting manicures, facials and expensive haircuts, but women notice if you've had it done. They are extremely observant of these things. How do you think they are so adept at ripping other girls apart? If you take the time to take care of yourself, most girls will appreciate it.
5. NEVER Approach a Woman Unless it is Obvious – Next to the gym, this is the most important thing to remember. If a girl is eye-fucking you form across the room, okay, fine, go up and say Hi. Otherwise do not even look at women in a bar. Talk to your friends. Act like you are having the most enthralling conversation ever. Pretend there are no women in the room at all and within 2 hours one will be trying to get your attention. If you ever go out with me, I never point out hot girls, hell, I barely even notice them. If you are in a dance club, stand in the middle of the dance floor with a dirnk and look drunk out of your mind. Girls will approach you when you ignore them. And they find the guys grinding behind them 100% disgusting.
6. Ask Questions – If a girl approaches you, you have automatically been put on the "I'd fuck him" list. So it is really yours to blow at this point. Which you can do by talking about yourself. At all. Just sit and ask her questions about herself, because you will be hard pressed to find a woman who does not like a guy who "listens." Now, are you listening? Probably not. But at least you are not just waiting for a chance to talk about you.
7. Talk About Sex – This one is tricky, and really only applies to girls you semi-know. You can't come off like a pervert, and you can't come off as desperate or bragging. You have to come off like the male-advisor columnist in Cosmo: Knowledgeable, experienced and frank. I know more about my guy friends' sex lives from talking to their girlfriends than I do form talking to them. It is tough to pull off, and I recommend reading a couple issues of Cosmo and watching a few reruns of "Sex and The City" to get the female perspective. But once women start to associate you with sex, it is only a short jump form there to the bedroom.
8. Lower your Standards – I'm not saying go around banging fatties all the time. That shit is disgusting. But do not insist on going home with nothing less than an 8. Because, as The Great Matt Johnson once said "Nothing ruins a man's sex life like high morals and standards." 5-7 is perfectly acceptable and they will probably be grateful to be hooking up with a guy with a great body, great clothes and a nice tan who is knowledgeable about sex.
9. Act Like You've Been There Before – When you invite a girl home, or suggest you go to her place, do not act like you are asking her for a kidney. If she wants to fuck you, she'll say yes. If she doesn't she'll say no. but if you ask her with any kind of trepidation, she'll probably think this is also how you fuck and therefore not waste her time. And once you get home, do not waste time on pleasantries. Offer up a drink, then proceed to the bedroom. No food, no movies. You both know why you're there. Otherwise you may, as a friend of mine recently did, get stuck listening to her talk until 7:30 AM and get nothing more than a 5 minute make-out.
It really is just that easy. A girl decides within five minutes if she's going to sleep with you or not. Which means your first impression in crucial. If you start giving a rat's ass about your appearance, it makes everything 100 times easier. You're going to put in work somewhere, be it talking, going on dates or getting rejected. You may as well put it in on the front end, that way even if you strike out you will be in better shape for it. This method has worked for me. Hopefully it will for you too. Men so often underestimate the importance of looking good and instead focus on silly things like "cockiness" and "looking rich." But a good body and a good wardrobe go a lot further than you'd think. Good luck, gents, and let me know how it works out.