Wednesday, November 15, 2006

How Fat is Too Fat?

I admit it: I have fucked some pigs in my day. I mean some serious pigs. I have won the belt on multiple occasions and am the current titleholder. And it looks like I may hold onto it for a while. When I'm drunk, and especially if I am drunk and depressed, asking me how fat is too fat is really a terrible question. Because at that point there are really no limits that I can honestly say I won't sink to. The last fat girl I was with was about 8 months ago and let me tell you it was quite awful. We're talking stretch marks, massive floppy tits and a gut that bounced around like a fat kid on the back of a schoolbus. Quite nauseating to say the least. But the scale of "Girls you'd hook up with if you were wasted and your girlfriend just dumped you" and girls you'd say "Yeah, I'd hit it" when she walks down the street are totally different things. To break that down even further, there are girls you'd have sex with and girls you think are attractive, and, again, they are totally separate entities. So, to answer all these categories I will break it down into how fat is too fat for each individual one.

Attractive Girl – Now, I am speaking on personal preference here, and my personal preference for girls is "Looks like she just got off a three week coke binge and still eats nothing but celery." Do I always date that type? No, but that's my ideal. The skinnier the better. That being said, I can find girls with some curves and meat on their bones attractive. Any girl with a muffin top or a "gunt" as some call it, is disqualified from this category. Excessive cellulite would also classify you as too fat for category one. A double chin, an ass that would be described as "sloppy" or pretty much anyone over a size 8 is more or less out of this one for me as well. Arm fat that reminds me of my relatives in Delray Beach would also make you too fat. If you are too big to buy the "cute" underwear at Victoria's secret, again, please continue on to category 2. This eliminates a LOT of Latin and black girls, and I'm okay with that. It doesn't mean I don't like them as people, or even wouldn't sleep with them, but I would definitely not say they are attractive. So, basically, all of the characteristics above would be "too fat" to be good-looking in my book. A celebrity example of someone "too fat" to be attractive: Dr. Torres (Sara Ramirez) on Gray's Anatomy. Too fucking fat for me. I'm convinced those underwear shots of her were airbrushed.

Girls You'd Fuck, Sober - Now, when White Dade is out at the Tavern on a Thursday night looking for someone to take home, a gunt and a muffin top is putting you at the top of the list. Why? Because you probably have lower self esteem and would more than likely validate yourself by going home with me. That, and I tend not to notice those things after a few pitchers. But even sober, a girl who is a little chunky or maybe can't quite fit into those Eva Longoria Juicy Couture tracksuits are still nice to take home. So she's got a little too much junk in the trunk? It'll look cool when you're hitting it form behind. So what if she's got a little gut. Just means she drinks a lot of beer. When you are talking about girls who you would have sex with, the standards are considerably lower. What would disqualify you from even being fuckable? An ass you could show a movie on would be one. Back fat to the point of folds is another. Looking like you are pregnant may just be too much for me without a couple of shots of 151 and/or a death in the family. Having to peel the thigh fat back to finger you? May be a little too much work for me. A good celebrity example of someone I wouldn't fuck sober? This one gets hard as most female celebrities have to be thin. So I'll go ahead and go with Rosie O'Donnell, when she first got famous. Now, no way in fucking Hell ever.

Girl you'd Fuck, Drunk – Only slightly lower than the last category, a girl you'd fuck drunk can probably have some back fat and is probably not too good looking. Like a face that could crack a mirror and a body that could crack a sternum. To be knocked out of this one you probably have to have a waddle and/or be fat and not white (white girls get 1 point automatically). An example of a girl I wouldn't fuck drunk? Lisa Lampanelli.

Girl you'd Fuck Drunk and Depressed – Girls who are too fat to fuck if you are drunk and/or depressed are most of the ones I use when I post pictures of fat girls. Because if I'm drunk, I'll let physical imperfections go. If I'm drunk and a girl I like has ditched me or blown me off, I'll take anything that makes me feel good. So if you are so hideous that I can't even bring myself to use you for self-validation, you've gotta be pretty fucking hideous These are the ones you look at and go "Retirement belt." As in if you hit that we give you the belt and you never have to fuck again to keep your title. These are women you'd call "morbidly obese" where you would really have to look to find the hole. Women you wouldn't fuck drunk and depressed can be hard to find as they usually don't get out much. In order to get one you really have to put in some effort. A celebrity example of someone I wouldn't fuck in this situation: The mom from "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?" Yes, I know she's dead, but say when she was alive. Yeesh. Just thinking about it makes me squirm.

So I hope this answers most of your questions. If you need any clarification, feel free to ask me in the comments box or via email. Yes, I have fucked some pigs, but the scale of "too fat" is really a sliding one depending on what you are talking about. And hopefully, I never have to again.

56 Comments:

At 4:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I could put numerous female commentors in those categories but that would cause a major scene.

ANON1

 
At 4:45 PM, Anonymous cedar said...

Excellent, and hysterical. Thank you. And it's funny you bring up Dr. Torres, because I totally thought the same thing about the film doctoring. Or she's just freakishly unusual.

 
At 4:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't normally post anonymously, but since I'm going to admit to infidelity in this response, I think I'll take the precaution.

When the sex went out of my marriage, I established a close relationship on the internet with a woman on the other side of the country. (We met in an online trivia game chat room.)

She told me she was stuck in a loveless marriage. I told her I was stuck in a sexless one.

The more we corresponded, the more we wanted to meet. She was very upfront about the fact that she was fat. I assured her it was what was inside that counted.

We've met 5 times in the past 8 years, when my travel made it possible. She's met me in Chicago, Vegas and California. We've had great sex every time. We hope to meet in Atlantic City next year.

Some positions work better than others, but where there's a will there's a way.

I'm of average build and looks, maybe a little on the short and chunky side (5'5", 155).

She's huge, with big droopy floppy breasts, stomach rolls, lots of cellulite and an oversized ass.

And it doesn't matter one whit.

She WANTS me. That's quite enough to make my dick stand up. We neck and pet and hold hands and watch romantic movies on cable.

We fuck in any position that works. Experimenting to find out which ones do is fun.

She brings me luck at the blackjack table, loves being spoiled by a good meal or a backrub, and is eager to please me. Just as I'm eager to please her.

How fat is too fat? Only so fat that the laws of physics and personal geometry make sex physically impossible. Short of that, fat is just a fact of life.

The brain is the most important sexual organ. Mine tells me my life would be way poorer without my lover.

 
At 5:25 PM, Blogger imaginaryconversations said...

So my ideal female body is the same as yours, WD. Or rather, was the same for all my life, with the exception of the past few months - now I like a bit more muscle added.
The best description would then be a body on the lower end of the healthy weight for its height, but with a ridiculously low body fat percentage. The problem with the skinny celebs is that most of them are skinny-fat - they're skinny, but the body fat ratio is very high, because the flesh that they do have is mostly fat, not muscle.

So what do you think about the whole ripped look? I'm not talking female bodybuilder ripped (ew), I mean toned. What would you prefer, a ridiculously skinny girl just off a coke binge, or a more toned girl?

 
At 5:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ANON1 ~ When did you start shying away from saying something because it would cause a major scene?

 
At 6:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am trying to be more sensitive in my commenting Elranito although I will say that I would like paint IC's face white one day.

ANON1

 
At 6:42 PM, Blogger imaginaryconversations said...

I'm missing the truly offensive part here. What's the hidden insult?

 
At 7:32 PM, Anonymous cedar said...

oh, and I guess I'll have to return the fat porn I got you for Hanukkah.

 
At 8:41 PM, Blogger Yvette said...

"She's huge, with big droopy floppy breasts, stomach rolls, lots of cellulite and an oversized ass...And it doesn't matter one whit."

OMG. Having recently quit smoking and immediately gained 20 lbs, I was going to comment on this post, but I've just read Anon #2's comment, and I think I have a crush on him. (I don't condone the infidelity.)

 
At 10:25 PM, Anonymous melissa said...

Love the post...I have often pondered this myself. I draw the line at ANY sign of neck fat. I can totally handle the beer gut or maybe an extra 15 to 20 lbs but man that neck fat gets to me....like it's there and there is nothing I can do about it except stare at it.

WD I have a question....any advice to dodging the creepy guy from work at the company holiday party? When I say creepy I mean Mr. Burns creepy. I'm taking b-brod as my date but this guy definitly does not get the hint...he is immune to the cock block.

 
At 10:43 PM, Blogger Velvet said...

To the 2nd anon - you should rent a movie called "Same time Next Year." It's about the very situation you are experiencing right now.

The tavern still exists? Lord. I would have hoped that place would have burnt up in the 90's.

 
At 11:40 PM, Anonymous lanie said...

i applaud your abilities to let alcohol drown out the coital jiggly. i cannot say the same for myself...i have a terrible aversion to fatties of any kind. i met this guy who was likely my soulmate, personality-wise, but could not get over it that he was chubs. he wasn't even bad looking. i think it all stems back to this bio class in high school where we had this big jar of yellowed human fat sitting around. i just picture that filling up love handles and bellies and the last thing i wanna do is fuck around. gimme a salad and let me be alone for the rest of my life.

 
At 12:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You wouldn't have sex with Rosie O'Donnell? Way to go out on a limb!

(I'm just teasing. ;)

Maybe Roseann Barr-nold, then?

 
At 9:21 AM, Anonymous florida hater said...

Anon # 2 - In all honesty your comment was beautiful. Although I don't condone adultery or fucking fat chicks (no matter how drunk you are).

Good for you.

 
At 9:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ANON # 2:

I guess she loves you like a fat kid loves cake?

ANON1

 
At 9:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i thought you liked girls with big boobs? or am i remembering incorrectly?

you're not going to find that in someone who's come out of a coke binge!

this was funny though. i was cracking up so hard.
i like really skinny boys so i guess i can relate to this.
haha, melissa. neck rolls are so fucking gross. if someone has a neck roll i run. as far away as fast as i possibly can.

 
At 10:02 AM, Blogger Manola Blablablanik said...

Don't miss the rising star of porn Notorious WD starring in SUPERSIZE ME 2! ;-)

totally kidding ... could not resist! :-)

 
At 10:02 AM, Blogger Manola Blablablanik said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 10:05 AM, Blogger Rachelle said...

So if it grosses you out to fuck fat girls then why do you do it? Aren't you disgusted afterwards... or during for that matter?

A lot of my guy friends will also slum from time to time, and I've never understood it. Not for a million dollars would I fuck a fat guy. Wellll ok, yes I would. But ONLY for a million dollars.

 
At 10:09 AM, Anonymous m said...

Haha I loved the post. I'm so sick of fat girls getting praised for being the "healthy weight for an ideal women". I'm sorry, but there is nothing healthy about stuffing your face with cheetos. To me, Kate Moss will always be hotter than anyone size 10 or greater. Thanks for having the guts to be politically incorrect.

 
At 10:09 AM, Anonymous Rachel said...

Stupid blogger didn't take my first post comment so I will try and paraphrase.

Everyone has different preferences and Thank God for that. Whatever floats your boat is awesome but White Date you are limiting your options. You are like Hooters. Only want the skinny hot ones that look good in short shorts.

If you don't like Muffin Tops or Gunts STAY AWAY FROM MICHIGAN! Every time I go to the mall I see one approximately every 5 second. It might go to 10 seconds in the winter.

Anon2 ~ I don't condone extra marital affairs and if you are so unhappy you should do something about it that isn't a betrayal the vows you made.
I will give you props for choosing someone based on their mind, heart and soul and not their size.

Personally I usually use sports analogies for the kind of build that I prefer. I like men that are more slender with defined musculature. Swimmers, runners and basketball builds are my personal choices but if I met someone with a football players build or wrestlers build I wouldn't discount them solely based on their body type.
I might have to draw the line on the competitive eaters build.

 
At 10:16 AM, Blogger Jaime said...

I think what this post boils down to is WD (and most guys) will fuck almost any girl given the right circumstances (alcohol consumption, depression, etc.).

Personally, I prefer guys with heft. Not 400 lbs of it, but I love being with huge guys (a little muscle, a little fat -- ahhh). It's weird - I'm pretty small, but the smaller they make me feel, the better. Also, it's really easy for them to throw me around in bed. Whee!!

 
At 10:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fat girls are like mopeds; they are fun to ride until your friends catch you on them.

ANON1

Rachel, good call with ANON2. That fool has lost his mind.

 
At 11:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Crude, but well put.

The only people who'll get offended by this are people who feel that they fit into one category or another and are not comfortable with their status

 
At 11:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I now have my own blog. Check it out!

 
At 11:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Look at me. I now have a blog.

 
At 2:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I admit it: I have fucked some pigs in my day. I mean some serious pigs.

Am I alone in thinking this is a truly offensive and absolutely unneccesary post? Do you really think that because you can stoop so low as to categorize women by their body types, (which I must say, there really isn't any category to put anyone into, no two people have the same body, sir) you're providing entertainment? Proving yourself better than others? In reality, you're encouraging the already existing genocide of women's self esteem and body image. I personally never understood/understand the obsession with being skinny, well, I should say being so skinny that its unhealthy. Regardless of what body types are popular or preferred, why do you have to pick on people in such a manner? Are you doing this to make yourself feel better about a physical hinderance in your body? Honestly, you shouldn't be ashamed if that is the case, your body is your own and be proud that you have it, it makes you unique and no one can take that from you. But I don't know if it (your thought process) goes so far with you, you may just be that much of a jerk, you've decided to publish your poorly conceived thoughts as a post, some people apparently find it amsuing and enlightening. Thats too bad. I think you're a self absorbed prick with no inner core to defines you. You've just created a persona and have decided to run with it.

Nice selection, next time try a more intelligent persona (even if it is fake), it will do better to impress the ladies, considering thats all you want.

"Looks like she just got off a three week coke binge and still eats nothing but celery."

Honestly, no comment on the above statement. The issue is within the statement itself. Disgusting.

This eliminates a LOT of Latin and black girls, and I'm okay with that.

This right here makes me wonder why people think racism and prejudice of whatever sort no longer exist. You've gone so far as to group all women of all body types from two different groups of women of color into one, and immediately brush them aside, or shall I say banish. Merely because of their skin color and the prescribed physical stereotypes associated with each group.

Did you make sure to bleach your robe? Gotta make sure there aren't any stains in it!

The mom from "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?" Yes, I know she's dead, but say when she was alive.

I wonder what people will say of you and your thoughts when you've passed on.

Lastly, I must say I think its really sad that you let alcohol judge who you will sleep with. Why not sleep with people you're attracted to and leave it at that, and not have sex with women whose bodies validate your reasons to be self absorbed?

Asshole.

 
At 2:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

yvette: Thanks for the crush. It feels good to be wanted.

I don't feel real good about the infidelity, but please note the difference I noted in the respective marriages of my lover and myself.

Her marriage is loveless. She's stuck for what she describes as economic reasons. I wish she'd get out because it kills her self esteem. And I sometimes fear that our rare moments together leave her just satisfied enough so that she doesn't take the big step away from this guy she needs to take. Their kids are grown, on their own, and functioning well as adults.

My marriage is sexless, but not loveless. We like each other and work well together, but she's just not into sex any more. If we didn't have a minor child who is developing wonderfully, I could see looking for a divorce. But the child is thriving, totally unaware of what the parents lack.

When I was a kid, a lot of couples split up, saying an unhappy marriage was worse for kids than a divorce. I thought it was a cop-out when I watched my friends' folks divorce and I think it's a cop-out today. If one parent is abusive, then the other should get themselves and their kid(s) out of the house as fast as their little feet can carry them, or get the abuser locked out, locked up, or under a protective order.

But if the two adults in a child's life can behave cooperatively and civilly with one another, and the child is thriving, where's the benefit to the child in a divorce.

velvet: I've seen it many times and we've talked about it. We can't swing a meeting every year. But we would if we could.

f.h.: Thanks.

ANON1: No, like a starving person person loves sustenance.

Rachel: See my response to yvette. And thanks for the props.

ANON1: Fuck You.

(Hey guys, why don't we just make "ANON1: Fuck You." a macro. I know I plan to.)

 
At 2:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

List Dumpy Smurf, aka the anonymous above this comment, just because you are stuck between fucking a pig at home and fucking a wild boar on the road doesn't mean you have to take it out on the rest of us.

Maybe your marriage wouldn't be sexless if you put some effort into your appearance. Buy some lifts for your shoes, join a gym, get a face transplant...

Be a man and leave your wife you pussy.

 
At 2:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

anon1 you having a blog is probably the most hypocritical thing i have ever heard anyone say.

 
At 2:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why? I am exciting and my posts are sometimes shocking.

So...

Fuck YOU!

 
At 2:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

For the long anonymous poster above...

Yeah, WD 30's main goal here is to impress the ladies; that's why he is so offensive towards them.

If you are girl, I would say you are fat. If you are a guy, I would say you have a fat chick for a spouse.

Go fuck yourself.

 
At 2:48 PM, Blogger Rachelle said...

Anon2 - Have you thought about how it would affect your child to discover later in life that his/her parents' marriage was a complete facade and that his/her father was unfaithful throughout the majority of it?

I'm not judging you b/c I've never been in that situation, but it's something you should consider. I have a friend who discovered a similar reality about her parents as a teenager and she's been unable to have a healthy relationship since.

 
At 2:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think all ANON2 thinks about is sticking his dick in a keg of cottage cheese when he's out on the road.

If you are going to cheat, at least cheat with a hot chick.

Have some self respect!

 
At 2:54 PM, Anonymous Johnson said...

Anon2, I think the stay together for the kid excuse is a bit of a copout. What do you think is going to stunt the kid’s emotional growth more? His/her parents getting a divorce or finding out his dad sleeps around on his mom with a portly woman? You might think you’re being secretive and won’t ever be found out but that is rarely the case and that’s going to scar your kid worse than any divorce.

 
At 3:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

For some reason, all I can think about after reading this post is Ben Franklin's advice about schtupping an older woman.

It's not exactly on point, but it gives reasons for playing hide the salami with an older woman that might well be the same ones for choosing to bang a plus-size one.

http://www.rick-strom.com/?q=node/51

 
At 3:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

David,

Congrats on winning the award for speaking like a 6th grader. Hide the salami? I maybe said that in 5th grade, once.

For you it would be more like hide the SLIM JIM. BITCH!

ANON1

 
At 3:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol oh anon1, i did read your blog.

c'mon! think up something more clever than fuck you!

no wait, nevermind.

 
At 3:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I looked at your MYSPACE PICS...


Lose the lip ring. It looks like something died in your mouth and is trying to crawl out.

ANON1

 
At 3:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahaha, yeah i don't really wear it too much.

it's all personal prefrence, right? i mean, at least i'm not 30 acting like i'm 16. we all have our faults.

 
At 4:23 PM, Blogger White Dade said...

Anon1 - thank you for toning it down.

Cedar - Well, this was the answer to YOUR question.

Anon2 - Hmmmm. Infeidelity is an interesitng issue. but, hey, if you can use this girl's brain as your turn on, then so be it. Some of us are probably just more shallow. Do I know you?

IC - No, I actually prefer the emale ripped look. that is prferable to emaciated becasue it shows you put some work into it.

Anon1 - Like I said, IC has a RIDICULOUS body. So I'm sure you'd enjoy that.

Cedar - Just give it to Ben.

Yvette - Who thought you could get girls by admitting infidelity with a fat woman. Y'all are weird.

Melissa - Hmmmm. Since ben is obviously going as a firend, he will not be threateded at all. I would give him as little attention as possible and when he comes up to you give short, curt responses. If all else fails, kick him in the nuts and run.

Velvet - The tavern will never die. I have pictures of it up somewhere.

Lanie - That imagery is quite disgusting. I have now just wasted $8.47 on a burrito and diet coke that are now part of the Miami-Dade Sewer system.

Anon - Oh, yeah, dfinitely rosanne.

FH - you don't condone fuckign fat chicks? Wha'ts wrong with you.

Gen - Of course I love girls with big boobs. Skinny girls with big boobs are even better.

Manola - Will you do a review of that on SATB?

Rachelle - Yes, it disgusts me afterward. It's like a cocaine hangover. that's why i try to avoid it now.

M - That's what I do best.

Rachel - NO, I'll take all kinds. I'm just saying what I prefer.

Jaime - Throwing aorund small girls in bed is a good time. Ah, memories.

TG - See the anonymous comment below. Odds she's over 2 bills? Off the board.

Anon1 - Nice picture. I wonder where that came form?

Anon - Well, one, you take this waaay too seriously. Two, this here blog is my OPINION. Some disagree ,and that's fine. I lke skinny girls, so sue me. You obviously are not alongtime reader or you'd see my rips on Latin girls and why I don't like them laced throughout. My point? Lighten the fuck up. Obviously a lot of people like what I do. And being fat IS unhealthy so feeling guilty about being overwegith is not inherantly a bad thing.

Anon1 - No, my main goal is not to impress the ladies. But apparently it works. Check the ratio in the comments box. It's lie 4:1 female.

Johnson - they should listen to you on this. Does Anon2 drive around in a Conan Van?

David - All that maty be true, but in his day "Older" women were like 30. NOt so much the case anymore.

Anon1 - The lip ring looks good in person.

 
At 4:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Slim Jim, hah.

More like one of D.C.'s great contribution to cuisine, the half-smoke.

Remember it's girth that matters.

 
At 4:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

White Dade you fag you better post on my blog.

HOMO!

 
At 4:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, keep thinking that. Most women don't like being fucked with stumps.

Your new name is Slim Jim, deal with it.

 
At 7:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahaha, i'm going to have to agree with anon1 on this. i'm not sure how wide you are, david in dc, but for a girl's sake i hope it's all proportional. there's nothing more horrifying than pulling down a guy's pants and seeing a mushroom (short and wide). plus, if it's too wide it hurts.

plain and simple.


haha thank you wd for defending the lip ring. MOST guys seem to like it. but again, all personal prefrence.

 
At 8:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"a gunt and a muffin top is putting you at the top of the list. Why? Because you probably have lower self esteem"

and why is that? because assholes like you think a girl is unattractive unless she's starving herself.

 
At 8:51 PM, Blogger imaginaryconversations said...

I have to come to WD's defense here. I have the same views. To me, strength is attractive. Willpower and self-control are fucking hot. Someone who is skinny and in a great shape is sexy because of these reasons in addition to the look itself. A girl who's fat because she eats lots of junk food and never works out is the opposite of sexy. Same for a guy, of course.

So in most cases being fat is a sign of weakness and laziness, which are probably the two unsexiest things in the world to me.

 
At 8:53 PM, Anonymous nicole said...

It's a free world so you can bang carcasses if you want to. You know, if that's what gets your rocks off, your socks blown, your jollies jangled.

*sigh*

But you're already aware of my opinion on this size matter -- it's SO disappointing. Tsk, tsk!

 
At 9:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nicole, actually, to bang corpses is against the law...

 
At 10:48 AM, Blogger angel, jr. said...

Great post!!! Completely made me laugh too much.
I feel sorry for some overweight individuals. But I also feel it's something they can control--just stop visiting the drive-thru and supersizing for one. Walk up one flight of stairs instead of taking the elevator for two.

 
At 11:22 AM, Anonymous DF said...

At what point did a coked up chain smoking waif become the ideal of beauty for you WD? Maybe you've been living in Miami too long, like a bouncer at a strip club accustomed to the sight of taut tits and ass but longing for something exotic like...a crack whore (and the occasional fat chick when you're drunk enough). Miami, besides NY and LA, is fucking model central so it’s where you'll find some of the most beautiful girls in the country. Yet, you constantly rail about how there are no attractive girls to your liking in Miami? Granted, I find Miami chicks to be some of the shallowest and stupidest I’ve ever met but their inadequacies are no excuse to go to the extremes when you need some validation for your own lacking self-esteem. How about having some fucking standards or a career that will make you some money so that you stop your whining?

 
At 2:46 PM, Blogger MonkeyPants said...

"Looks like she just got off a three week coke binge and still eats nothing but celery."

????? For real? Did you just write that?????

Well... you'd probably LOVE her.

Don't you feel a tad guilty saying your "ideal" is someone who is seriously unhealthy? This is why women are so fucked up about their body image. Christ. I'm disgusted, WD. I hope you're just trying to get a rise out of people because that's just foul.

And that's just my opinion.

 
At 4:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Funny with the Lisa Lampenelli reference, but bottom line is she would never sleep with you by sheer fact that you are WHITE Dade. Listen to her act - She only like the black cock. If you are going to bag on a fat chick, at least use examples of one you would have a remote chance of scoring with . ;)

I can't believe I just used the phrase "fat chick".

 
At 7:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

yah, yah, yah - I've been skinny, I've been fat - still got to fuck, still had a great time...but one thing I WILL NOT DO is fuck a guy with a small dick - anything less than 7 inches just doesn't do it for me - which leaves most white guys out of the game, so being white means a point AGAINST you...when I'm shopping, I'm asking one questions: WHERE'S THE BEEF?

 
At 2:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

WD:

Yes, but not well.

ANON2

 
At 6:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So sweetie given these high standards of yours - why does your blog signature picture look like a transexual make-up wearing homosexual?

 

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