Thursday, November 09, 2006

Welcome to Dade County

Welcome to Dade County. I don’t like to use the name “Miami” because “Miami” conjures up images of beautiful women, white sandy beaches and cocaine smuggling, not much of which occurs once you venture west of I-95. What occurs west of I-95 you may ask? Well, pretty much whatever occurs in any other major American city with one glaring exception: It all occurs in Spanish. I don’t mean a pocket here and a pocket there, or a charming little “Latin Quarter” we could put in the Fodor’s guide. No, I mean a whole, living, breathing 11th largest American metropolitan area going about all of their day to day business in a language other than the one written on all of their street signs (that is unless you count the names given to streets to honor campaign contributors, mayor’s brothers-in-law and local baseball stars). This is why being a Dade white person, or “American” as we are called here, is such a surreal experience. If you live in LA or New York or San Diego or Phoenix or any other American city with a “Latin Influence” as they so nicely put it in Newsweek, you may experience this when you venture into certain parts of town, but when you get back to Brentwood or The Upper East Side or Del Mar or Scottsdale, everyone once again speaks English and goes about their business in a manner you are comfortable with and used to.

Such is not the case in Dade County. You know how in some cities you may decide to lunch at your local Burger King and the guy at the counter speaks no English and you get really frustrated, but once you get your Whopper with Cheese you forget all about it and go about the rest of your day without this frustration again? Well, in Dade, that definitely happens at Burger King (based in Miami, actually) but it also happens when you get back to work and try and call a locksmith to fix your door. It also happens when you go the bank to open a checking account, make a dinner reservation, call your lawyer or get your car fixed. This is the price you pay for living in a city with 24-hour liquor licenses and 82 degree weather all year round. That and the hurricanes.

White people in Miami are referred to as “Americans.” PC politicians would love to say that “We are all Americans,” but if someone here says “Yeah, this American guy came in here last week and threw this big fit at my secretary because she didn’t speak English” they mean he is white. We are not so much a minority, but more of a novelty. Have you ever gone into a store or a bar in an “ethnic” neighborhood and realized you were the only white person there? That is what happens to me when I go to Nordstrom. Go walk around Dolphin Mall or Dadeland on a Wednesday and I challenge you to find four “Americans.” Drugstore? Absolutely. The DMV? Go to the English Only window in Hialeah and you’ll be out of there in under 20 minutes. Santa’s Enchanted Forest? May as well be called El Bosque Encontado de Santa Claus. Am I complaining? No. If you are American and you want to move to Miami, the county requires you to sign a waiver stating that you understand you are moving to a place that does not speak English, nor will it ever try and do so, and that you will not go into a tirade worthy of Michael Douglas in "Falling Down" when the guy at the deli counter doesn’t understand what “3/8 of a pound” means. If you can accept these terms, Bienvenidos!

The difference between Miami and other cities with large Hispanic populations is that in those cities, though there may be a lot of Latin people, the government and economy are for the most part run by Americans. I don’t necessarily mean whites, now, but Americans. In Dade, nearly all commerce and government is run by people from Latin America. This means that everything here happens pretty much like it would in El Salvador. Except the streets are a little cleaner. We had our mayoral election declared fixed a mere two years before the 2000 election debacle that made voting in Dade world famous. The fact that the U.S. presidency was decided by a voting process on par with the one that elected Daniel Ortega may explain the last five years a lot more easily.

What this has given me is a degree of empathy for minorities in other U.S. cities. If you are a Mexican living in Indianapolis, I would assume you experience many of the same frustrations we “Americans” experience here in Dade. If you are black and living in Orange County, I think you might feel much the same way we do. If you are Asian and living in Connecticut, again, welcome to the world of White Dade. Just colder. If you are white and live in ANY OTHER AMERICAN CITY (save for maybe El Paso, which doesn’t really count) you will never understand what it is like to have to live your life according to another culture’s rules until you move here. And not to Miami Beach or Brickell or Coconut Grove or anywhere else you’ve seen on the Travel Channel. Move to a numbered street in the triple digits and you’ll know what I mean. The point is in Miami we are a true minority. We are not oppressed since most “Americans” in Dade have money, but we have no real political or commercial power and live life according to the way the majority feels it should be run. This is why I don’t feel at all like a racist when I say that I am proud to be White or that I like doing White things. I like Latin people and Latin things too, but you should be proud to be what you are.

55 Comments:

At 4:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds a bit like some of my experiences in Hawaii - not in terms of language but of skin color. It was surreal being glared at in a Wal-Mart in Honolulu for being white. Can't say I now know what it feels like to belong to a minority group where many of the majority are less than kind, but I certainly have more sympathy for them. --Tresa S.

 
At 8:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

But isn't democracy supposed to be "majority rules" ?

 
At 9:34 AM, Blogger alizinha said...

anonymous #2, any democracy i'd want to live under respects the minority, even while majority does rule. tyranny of the majority doesn't have much appeal for me, whether i'm in that given majority in any particular situation or not.

 
At 10:12 AM, Blogger kate said...

I'm betting being white in Miami is kinda like being from Kentucky and knowing how to read.

 
At 11:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

White Dade, you couldn't of said it better. I am a Latino who grew up in Miami. I left when I was 20 to travel the U.S. and Canada for my work, Man what a WAKE UP CALL I had...lol

I still love being from Miami, but honestly, if my Family was not all here, I would most likely live somewhere else...

 
At 11:29 AM, Blogger Rachel said...

Isn't this a repeat of you very first post?

 
At 2:39 PM, Blogger SuperBee said...

I thought so too, Rachel. This is VERY familiar to me.

 
At 3:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rachel,

I would rather read duplicated White Dade posts 24 /7 then read the garbage you post. For God's sake if I had your life I would kill myself by the quickest way possible.

Also, TO ALL BLOGGERS:

Playtah is hosting a Democrat Only party on her lame blog. If you post a comment there offering a different political view she will not approve the comment and it won't be posted. The blog is filled with a bunch of poor, uneducated lazy people who hate the big bad Republicans because they don't offer enough government assitance.

Please do not visit her blog. Anyone that blocks free speech should not be allowed to post anything.

ANON1

 
At 3:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

And pick up a mirror Rachel. You would't date a guy with bad teeth?

Well, most guys would not date an overweight single mother.

 
At 3:09 PM, Blogger imaginaryconversations said...

Fight, fight, fight!

ANON1, I hate the Republicans, but not because of their fiscal policies. If anything, I agree with them - I believe fiscally it should be "dog eat dog". I hate them because of all the moral crap.

 
At 3:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, do you enjoy being able to speak freely?

If so, don't go to Playtah's or Rachel's blog. They can't take the truth.

 
At 4:19 PM, Anonymous Playtah said...

ANON1~

I posted most of your rants, but the 2 entries from you that I didn't post were when you went off subject and insulted the fertility/ability to have children of a wonderful person who tried for years to have a child. That is heartless, cold, and has nothing to do with the political discussion. I posted everything you said politically, even thought I disagree with it to my bones. I'd never censor someone for their political opinions. When you realized that she had actually made a valid point, you resorted to what every coward before you has: slander and personal attacks. When you try to "win" an argument by needling someone with pain that you know nothing about, that's not cool at all. I would rather you think that I'm "against free speech" than to insult a friend I've had 1/2 my life. I owe no loyalty to you. You are the only person I've ever had to censor, because you are the only person to stoop so low.

 
At 4:35 PM, Blogger Rachel said...

Anon1 ~ I may post what you consider garbage but it doesn't keep you away does it?

People (including you) can post anything that want but if it is vitriolic, asinine and doesn't contribute to the dialogue (basically 90% of what you do on White Dade's blog) I have no compunction to keep it on my blog.

You can bogart other people's blogs and act like a kamikaze commentor, insult everyone and their mother and get a cheap thrill that people are paying attention to you. You won't do it on mine for a few reasons.

#1 It is my blog. I can do what I want on it and that includes deleting comments. If you don't like it, don't visit. Better yet, start your own blog.

#2 I have friends and relatives (including my mother) that read my blog. I care about their feelings and I don't want them to get upset by idiocy.

#3 If the comment doesn't contribute the the content of what I write about it is useless. If you disagree with me, that's great but contribute something worthwhile.

I have learned something in life. You can't hide who you are no matter how hard you try. People always figure you out.

Extremely offensive and defensive people usually have a lot to hide. Unfortunately they usually don't hide it well.

Good luck to you Anon1.

 
At 4:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is bullshit! She insulted me first by saying...

"CHILD: yes, adopted 7 year old daughter. And from what I’ve seen of your idea of ‘family values,’ may I say that I am glad you are childless."

This sweet person you speak of insulted me first. But once again, you are too concerned with your own agenda that you failed to see it.

People, please do not go to Rachel or Playtah's website. Make it a point to stand up for free speech.

This woman attacked me first so I responded. She even made a point to state that she was proud for not accepting assistance from the government.

There is a reason GOD prevents some people from having kids. He doesn't want the faulty genes to spread to another poor soul.

ANON1

 
At 4:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rachel,

Maybe you should have thought about not upsetting your family before you got knocked up by a random street thug. Well ladies get prepared for an early Christmas gift. You can't silence the truth for long.

Ann stop acting like you are educated Rachel. The GED you picked up last year doesn't mean crap. That meaningless job you have isn't helping either.

No run along and play with the rest of the lower class.

ANON1

 
At 4:43 PM, Anonymous Playtah said...

ANON1--thank you. You have proved that any publicity is good publicity.

 
At 4:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

And for the last time pick up a mirror Rachel and Playtah. Both of you have no right judging the way men look when you both resemble men.

There's a reason one of you is single and the other was knocked up in a hit and run accident. It's called being ugly.

 
At 4:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

No thank you. You and Rachel are 8 hours away from a big shock.

 
At 4:50 PM, Anonymous Playtah said...

Is that a threat?

 
At 4:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nope. I will be making my blogging debut in a big way.

And please don't do what you are known for doing, reporting me to my ISP provider. This is a blog, not real life.

 
At 4:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nope. I will be making my blogging debut in a big way.

And please don't do what you are known for doing, reporting me to my ISP provider. This is a blog, not real life.

 
At 5:00 PM, Blogger Rachel said...

Hmmm 8 hours away would make it almost 1AM our time. I think that I will be asleep. Can't imagine getting a big shock at that time.

 
At 5:02 PM, Anonymous Playtah said...

Wow! ANON1 finally succumbs and starts his own blog! This, I can't wait to see. Do I get to star in your debut? How are you planning to lampoon me? Do I get to come to the blog warming party?

 
At 5:15 PM, Anonymous Playtah said...

Report you to your ISP Provider? Please....don't overestimate your importance.

 
At 5:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't make me pull up Rachel's comments on her blog:

"funny girl said...
Oh, and Rach, I emailed the provider and asked what we could do about someone posting threatening comments from that ip address. "

And there it is. Any further lies you would like to tell Playtah...or should I say funny girl

 
At 5:39 PM, Anonymous Playtah said...

I sure did write that. And I knew you'd read it.

The only time I'd consider doing that would be if my physical safety felt threatened.

 
At 5:40 PM, Anonymous Playtah said...

Like you said...it's a blog, not real life.

 
At 5:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rachel said...
Yes. but now we have his address. What should we do with that?

These two "bloggers" who lack talent, looks and anything else it takes to make it in the entertainment biz looked up my IP address and sent complaints to my ISP provider.

Don't believe it? Read the comments on Rachel's "Internet Troll" post.

Very say.

 
At 5:43 PM, Anonymous Playtah said...

Uh-huh. Keep it comin'.

 
At 5:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Playtah,

I will make you a deal. I will not comment on your blog or Rachel's blog if you don't post here.

ANON1

 
At 5:48 PM, Anonymous Playtah said...

How quickly we trade our beliefs for convenience...not so big on free speech anymore?

And what are you talking about? I love it when you comment on my blog. It stirs the pot, and makes my workday go faster.

The only thing that's annoying is that the blog platform makes me moderate your comments--I think it's because of the generic email address.

 
At 5:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ANON1: Not much of a deal you just offered. You need to learn some negotiation skills.

non-anon

 
At 5:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

No, I am just annoyed at how stupid people in this world are.

And, this is a good blog. It doesn't need cry babies like you and Rachel messing it up.

Are you paid hourly?

 
At 5:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Non-anon,

Go fuck yourself. You need a job.

ANON1

 
At 6:05 PM, Anonymous Playtah said...

I'm salaried. And you?

 
At 6:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Salaried, plus commission, plus ownership in the company.

 
At 6:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ANON1: I have a job. Good thing I don't have to work for a rude, poor business person like you. Get lost.

non-anon

 
At 6:12 PM, Anonymous Playtah said...

Do you enjoy your job?

 
At 6:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My job is my future. My job is the difference between a small house or a big house. My job is 70 hour work weeks.

But my job will lead to a lot of moeny. Sure, I enjoy my job.

And NON-ANON YOU KNOW NOTHING about my business skills so go fuck your mother asshole.

 
At 6:18 PM, Anonymous Playtah said...

I'm glad you enjoy your job. I don't enjoy mine at all. But it pays the bills.

 
At 6:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

your mother reads this?

you are kidding right? Was her favorite post the one about the finger in the ass, or the one that discusses your love of cocaine?

jc

 
At 6:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I believe in a fast life...

fast money, fast cars, fast women...

I should come into all of that in 3 years max. If we bring on a secret weapon that will cut that time in half...

 
At 6:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

JC,

Dade's mother doesn't read this moron. Can you read? English, motherfucker, do you speak it?

ANON1

 
At 6:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ANON1: I think I touched a nerve here with you. You just compensate for all your shortcomings with your endless hate. Again, you have no negotiation skills at all.

non-anon

 
At 6:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh, i guess getting high at work is a bad idea.

jc

 
At 6:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You got me. I am really trying hard to negotiate this blog deal right now.

You are a moron.

Go take some sleeping pills and wash them down with a bottle of Vodka.

Do you know how stupid you sound?

 
At 6:30 PM, Blogger Rachel said...

jc ~ I don't know if you were replying to my comment but in case you were ~ my mother reads my blog, not White Dade's.
Sorry if I wasn't clear on that.

 
At 6:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How sad is it that your mother reads your blog? Is she proud of you?

Is she proud your baby's daddy left you?

 
At 6:42 PM, Blogger Rachel said...

Anonymous ~ It isn't sad at all. My mother lives 2000 miles away and it is another way for her to keep up on what is happening in my life.
My mother is very proud of me. Thanks for asking.

I wasn't left by my "baby daddy" as you refer to him. I chose to end the relationship with him.

In a perfect world everyone would have the "solid family foundation" that you tout so much but there are times when you have to do what is best for your child and yourself even if it includes choosing to parent and raise your child alone.

I don't regret the decision. I am too busy living for today to lament the past.

 
At 6:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I bet you regret dating Tupac though.

Great guy to father a baby with. But I forgot, you won't date a guy with bad teeth.

ANON1

 
At 6:51 PM, Blogger Rachel said...

Anon ~ Alas, I never had the opportunity to date Tupac. He was incredibly talented and I would have loved to converse with him.

A girl's gotta have some standards. I also won't date someone who is self-centered, doesn't like kids, has a negative personality or someone who's only interests are sports related.

But I bet your list is a LOT longer than mine considering that you are int he 1% of digustingly attractive people.

Oh, and I won't date someone who thinks overly highly of themselves.

 
At 6:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well guess that leave me out. Thank God.

 
At 7:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ANON1: I GUESS I NEED TO SCREAM TO GET THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL. YOUR INSULTS ONLY REFLECT UPON YOU. GO AWAY.

And you always get owned by every other commenter on here. Good night.

non-anon

 
At 8:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It sounds to me that you are putting down the Latino culture.

We are not better but not worst...just different.

You are used to kenny rogers, well we are used to merengue.

Simple.

 
At 2:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

NON-ANON,

Well, first of all you copied the style of my handle so congrats on not being original.

Secondly, show me one instance where another commenter owned me. If you do, I will leave and never come back.

ANON1

 

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