Sunday, December 10, 2006

An Evening With Anonymous

It is a rare thing for a blogger to actually get to confront one of his most virulent critics face to face, but this past weekend I had just such an opportunity as Anon1 invited me to his parents' annual Christmas party. For those who don't know, Anon1 came to this blog via my infamous Jenn Sterger post, and as a Florida State alum took exception to my views. He spent the better part of the next 6 months ripping me and my commenters in the comments section until we began exchanging email. And as that happened, we began to get along. And so what was once a threatened beatdown became a friendly meeting a few weeks before Christmas.

Because Anon's parents are rather well-known and important people in Miami, it reasoned that they knew absolutely nothing of their son's online exploits. Which is fine, my mom doesn't read my blog either. So I had to go to this party under the cover of being a friend from Anon's first job at some company I'd never heard of and had no idea what they did. I thought it would make for some good improvisational acting on my part, but really most of that came to an end pretty quick. I walked in and was pointed toward where Anon was standing and went up and said "Hey, how've you been, dude? Long time, huh?" Odd, since we'd never met before but had to act like old friends. I found it even more entertaining when, re-introduced to his dad, the man apologized saying "Yeah, I thought I recognized you but it's been a few years. How have you been doing?" Oh, great Anonymous, Sr. Just great. Not sure how I'm going to explain going from a job in a field I don't even know exists to personal training, but let's worry about that after we have some more Scotch, huh? Awesome.

The party was devoid of anyone under the age of 40 until some guy showed up in a Patriots Jersey and jeans, apparently a week too early for the game. We weren't going to talk to him anyway. Then arrived an extremely attractive girl who I later found out was a hairdresser. The conversation with her went very nicely until the phrase "I have a 14-year-old and a 12-year-old" was uttered. It was at that point Anon decided Gold Rush would be a better option.

Now I hate strip clubs for a variety of reasons, the main one being that I hate strippers. But now I was about to make my second appearance at gold Rush in 2 weeks, although somehow I doubted this one would be quite as much fun. Anon bought us some drinks and immediately went in the back with some black stripper. As he did so, I struck up a conversation with a 20-year-old named "Barbie." I informed Barbie of my past vocation as a manager of a similar establishment, but the conversation soon devolved into tales of my relationship. Barbie offered to fix that problem for $500, which I politely declined. She told me I should just fuck around with other girls but maintain my girlfriend, since she never really considers that cheating anyway. Probably because she has sex with people for money, but that's just a guess. At any rate, it was about this point when anon came storming out of the Champagne room yelling "We're getting the fuck out of HERE!" Apparently the black stripper had tricked him into going back there with a $20 dance and then insisted on another $250 or something for VIP. Imagine that, a stripper trying to swindle you out of money. Fortunately, she got no cash form Anonymous that day, and we adjourned to the Grove.

We met up with a few of my friends, one of whom shared the same first name with Anonymous, and I tried to explain exactly how I knew him. My friend knew, but the girls with him were a little confused as to why anyone would read a stranger's blog. I guess if I'm not your friend on MySpace, I don't deserve the literary attention of a 21-year-old. Oh-freaking-well. At any rate, we concluded the night with yet more drinks (all paid for by Anon1) and went our separate ways. An enjoyable evening was had by all and I must again thank Anonymous for his hospitality and buying me several drinks and inviting me to his parent's party. I'm sure we will hang out again, and I'm sure it may get even nastier next time.

31 Comments:

At 5:49 PM, Anonymous Johnson said...

What?! No mention of winning the Johnson Drunk Phone Call Sweepstakes? No mention of me urging you and Anon to hit up Wild Horses? I feel slighted WD. For shame.

Has Derek Vineyard gotten out of the clink yet?

 
At 7:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good post WD. Thanks for telling the story.

For all of the haters, WD is not an ugly, fat, poor loser. He is actually very articulate and will one day make it big with his writing.

WD was a perfect guest and I emjoyed hanging with him. I told him we should have a blogger's convention in 2007.

And Johnson was cool to talk to also at 2:30 AM.

I call dibs on the hairdressed in 2007 WD. She was hot though!

Let the comments about WD and I being gay begin.

 
At 8:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmm. Isn't ANON1 the guy who typed, not two weeks ago:

"Lap dances suck. I would rather masturbate for free."

See: http://imaginaryconversationswithpeople.blogspot.com/2006/12/stripping.html

I guess when you're spewing that much bile, it's hard to remember all the nonsense you've spewn.

 
At 8:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, if you read the post you would have noticed that I DID not receive a lap dance that night.

Angry tonight are we David, time for your Valium. Wash it down with a bottle of Grey Goose and go for a swim.

 
At 11:28 PM, Anonymous Playtah said...

I'm glad you and ANON1 had a good time--you both seem like very fun people.

 
At 9:14 AM, Anonymous Rachel said...

Ok, I'll bite. White Dade, are you and Anon1 gay? LOL. Just kidding.
I couldn't resist.
Sounds like you had fun. Especially the acting part.

 
At 11:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, thank heavens that you pointed out that the stripper was black. I mean, afterall, the story wouldn't have made any sense unless you pointed at that she was black. I mean, only a black stripper would try to swindle a guy. Phew!

 
At 12:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

White Dade you racist you should have used African American.

What's next burning crosses and white hoods!

 
At 2:23 PM, Blogger alizinha said...

No mention of how Anon1's looks compare to his avatar, the delicious Mr. Christian Bale? Come on WD, that's not fair. All the ladies want to know how Anon's looks stack up...

 
At 2:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

She told me I should just fuck around with other girls but maintain my girlfriend, since she never really considers that cheating anyway. Probably because she has sex with people for money, but that's just a guess.
lol that made me laugh fairly loudly.

i'm going to ditto anon1's description of you.

 
At 5:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, what a surprise - anon1 hangs out in clubs with idiots (WD excluded) and strippers and drinks a lot...and has parents who throw money around. I hope someday, if he considers himself an intelligent person, he takes to hanging out ith them instead of being bitter and lonely.

 
At 5:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a stupid comment!

1. Just because I had a few drinks at a party, does not mean I drink a lot. I maybe drink 5 days a month.

2. That was the 2nd time I was at a strip club in 2006.

3. My parents don't throw money around. They have class and like to treat my dad's employees to a nice party.

4. Bitter yes, lonely no.

What type of jerkoff makes a stupid comment like that. Reveal yourself JOHNNY!

 
At 8:19 PM, Blogger aikin said...

very interesting post. Other than the time Anon told me I should reshoot my pic with the gun pointed at my head, I have no particular feelings toward him. Glad he turned out to be a decent guy.

 
At 8:57 PM, Blogger Jada said...

I'll be in South Florida in February and I want to party with White Dade and Anon1!

 
At 1:08 AM, Blogger Paul said...

...so let's say you guys still hated each other and arranged a fistfight instead of a pleasant evening. who do you think would win?

 
At 8:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Paul - How about me and White dade have a tag team match with you and that piece of whale blubber called Mr. Jinxy?

What do you say chief? That is if you two could afford a plane ticket.

Jerkoff.

 
At 8:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

And Jada you might be let down partying with WD and myself. Neither of us know Tucker Max.

 
At 1:58 PM, Anonymous keith said...

who's blog is this anyway?

ANON1 has hi jacked the comments section.

good to see you guys had a good time and its okay that you needed to reaffirm your masculinity by going to a strip club. a lot of gay guys over compensate before they accept the truth.

truly, i have no idea what i'm talking about.

 
At 10:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with anon1 that WD will make it big with the writing one day. Maybe by publishing something, maybe by getting a great job in a related field, maybe in some other way I can't think of. WD, get to work, there's more than personal training in your future!

 
At 2:34 PM, Blogger White Dade said...

Johnson - sorry, dude. I forgot that part. Again, I was rather lit. I do remember the Wild Horses recommendation.

Anon1 - Nest time we gotta do Wild Horses.

David - As one who spews a lot of bile, yes, it is hard to remmeber that.

Playtah - yes, it was fun.

Rachel - like I said, I wish I could have done mroe of it.

S* - How dare oyu call me a racist. Some of my favorite strippers are black. I managed an all black strip clob, for crying out loud.

Anon1 - You odn't live to ofar from Rosewood, do you?

Allison - good looking guy. Christian Bale? That's hard to live up to.

Gen - Thank you. And Barbie thanks you too.

Anon - His parents actually were pretty modest about their money/status.

Aikin - Yeah, you might have enjoyed yourself had you come along. Has anyone told you you look like Roger clemens? Peopel tell me I look like John rocker all the time.

Jada - Being it! I got an email, hit me up.

Paul - For the right amount of money, I'm sure that could be arranged.

Keith - I hate strip cluibe. Just for the record.

IC - Thank you. More to come on that later.

 
At 5:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good grief, WD. When did I call you a racist? I just found it interesting that you kept saying she was black, like that made a difference. When did I ever say that you were systematically oppressing my race? You give yourself too much credit!

 
At 10:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

S* - You gave him credit by posting a comment on the first place and then posting another comment.

If he would have said a white or spanish stripper not one person would have posted a comment but go forbid he said "black" stripper and all hell breaks loose. Maybe if people weren't so sensitive to every little thing we would all forget about the color of our skin.

 
At 10:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon1 - Sure WD's blog is engaging enough to deserve two comments from me (and now a third). His ability to engage his readers does not equate the ability to oppress an entire race.

If he said three times that the stripper was white, asian or latina, I would have pointed it out as well. It seems to imply that that particular characteristic had something specifically to do with her attempt to swindle you. Just as if he'd repeatedly that she was a redhead or a blue-eyed stripper, I would have wondered what the connection was.

That's all...has nothing to do with being overly sensitive, or crying "racism!". I'm hardly that type.

 
At 11:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bullshit. If he would have said a "red headed" stripper you would not have said a word.

I am done with this stupidity.

 
At 12:09 PM, Blogger White Dade said...

I said black stripper mostly because of my extensive experience with them at my old job. That ws about it. All strippers are lying, swindling pieces of trash, regardless of race, eye or hair color. There was no connection meant, the black part ws meant soley as a physical description. But Anon1 has a point - Anytime you point out anything or anyone as being black and then something negative happens afterwards, you are called out for something. Oh well. Glad you enjoyed it and I got the point.

 
At 12:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

WD, I appreciate your civilized response. I do agree with you about strippers...I envy their flexibility, but not their lack of scruples.

I'm quite enjoying your blog...glad I found it.

I was enjoying the discovery of Anon1's as well, until he called me a bullshitter. I'm wounded. Terribly.

 
At 2:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

For some reason the story kinda touched me, but the extra mindfuck is seeing Anon1 actually defend Dade against haters in the comments field was an added bonus.

 
At 2:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, I just want to pipe in and defend S*. She's really not one of those hypersensitive people that goes around reading racism into everything. Personally I wondered what her being black had to do with the story too since the other girl didn't get a physical description, but I didn't think it was worth mentioning.

 
At 4:29 PM, Blogger White Dade said...

T - The other girl was named "Barbie." I tinhk that sort of speaks for itself, doesn't it?

 
At 7:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Point taken.

 
At 5:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am offended. She could haven been a Malibu Barbie.

Bunch of racist pigs on this blog.

 

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