I Can See How A Latin Guy Could Get Used to This
The Latins, they treat their women a little differently than you and I. And by “you and I” I mean White people. So if you are not White, let me apologize before you lambaste me in the comments box. My point today is this: While this space is generally devoted to an admittedly biased criticism of Latin culture, today we are going to change it up a bit. I am going to put aside my “raised by a Berkeley Feminist Lawyer Single Mom” sensibilities and explain why I can kind of see where Latin guys are coming from in the way the approach gender roles. Not that I agree, but I can see why they wouldn’t want to change.
I had the pleasure of attending a little Christmas luncheon party at this guy’s apartment across the street form the Orange Bowl. For those not familiar with Miami, this area boasts about 5 English-speaking residents, one of them being yours truly. I arrive at the luncheon and in the living room are about 7 or 8 men, mostly contractors, watching Telemundo and drinking some Heineken. I join them and notice that in the kitchen are four or five women talking in Spanish and preparing some food. So I get up to go and get myself a plate and my friend, who is Dominican, tells me to sit down.
He then yells something in Spanish into the kitchen and out comes a woman with a tamale, rice and beans and some other shit the I couldn’t either pronounce or recognize. We’ll just call it arroz con culo. At any rate, as I take my first bite another man asks me, in Spanish, if I’d like a beer. I accept and he yells something into the kitchen and out comes another woman with a beer. Then more women with food for the other men. We sit, shoot the shit in English and Spanish about a variety of inappropriate topics, and as I finish my plate I get up to get more. Again, I am told to sit down, something is yelled in Spanish into the kitchen, and Voila! White Dade has another full plate of arroz con culo and a fresh fork. You know, in case my first one had fallen on the floor. So I got to sit down, drink several beers, eat three plates of food, and never once had to call “seatbacks.” I am sooo going over to this guy’s house for the Super Bowl.
It must be nice to have servants when you live in an apartment that probably costs less than my monthly bar tab. Not to disparage their living conditions, but most people I know with minimal cash flow generally have to get up and get their own beers, even if they are married. If you’ve been brought up like this in “My Country” and all of a sudden you move to a new country and the women are like “Get up and get your own fucking beer you lazy spic,” I can’t really blame you for being hesitant to assimilate. Is it ultimately more equitable and fair for men to serve themselves? Of course it is. But man, a guy could get used to never having to leave the couch.
I can see why a lot of White Boys I know talk about wanting to find a nice, subservient Latina wife. I don’t know too many white girls who, if I was sitting on the couch and I yelled at her in the kitchen to bring my big, goofy friend a beer, who would just bring it out and maybe a fork in case his had fallen on the floor. A white girl, or even an Americanized Latina, would be like “Fuck you.” Personally, I like a woman who challenges me and I see as an equal. But if you are the type of guy who believes in gender-relations like this (which are a lot more than you think) I can see why a Latin woman would be much more appealing than an American. Even if you’re White.
Of course, there is an inherent downside: If she’s going to act like the docile woman, you have to act like the Macho Man. Paying for everything, acting over-protective and jealous, and never showing any emotion or talking about how you feel. Basically acting like, you know, a man, something at which I am not very good. This is yet another reason I don’t do well with Latin culture, but more and more, I can see why some of them don’t really want to change.