The Politics of Oral
In this, the season of giving and receiving, I thought I might opine for a minute of one of the most important concepts of giving and receiving around: Oral Sex. Unlike Christmas presents, I enjoy giving and receiving equally, and think it is crucial in any relationship. But there are people out there with a hard-and-fast set of rules for oral sex, which I don’t really understand. Again, I think people who are good in bed, or in an elevator, a car, a Greyhound bus or an airplane, don’t really concern themselves with the politics of oral so much as they do with, ooooo feeling good.
There are guys out there who believe that a girl needs to be the first one to go downtown. What an absolute load of hogwash. First of all, I love going down on a girl. I may not be spectacular at it, but I think I am at least serviceable and that is enough to grant me license to perform this act at will. So if I am the first one to put my mouth down there, so be it. As long as the girl is enjoying herself, I’m enjoying myself and we can all be happy. Guys who insist that she go first? Well, that’s just being plain old selfish in the sack. What are you afraid of? That you’ll eat her out and she won’t sleep with you? Guys, let me let you in on a little secret I learned from my years of reading Cosmo: A girl gets hornier when you go down on her. She wants sex MORE and gets much closer to orgasm that if you just stick it in after 5 minutes of foreplay.
Are you afraid of the loss of the power dynamic? Because GIVING oral sex is actually more empowering than receiving it. You have the other person under your control and can please them or pain them at will. It is actually taking charge more than you think, which is why girls who slam you up against the wall and suck your dick are usually the same ones who enjoy smacking you around.
While I am certainly one to enjoy giving oral, it is by no means EVER a one—way street. So much as I enjoy doing it, if the favor is not returned I will stop. Maybe not after the first encounter, but if it happens twice you can forget me ever going down there again until you do it too. That’s just plain-old reciprocation. Similarly, if I am down there and you give me no reaction then I’m really not going to have any incentive to continue. Should either or both of these occur, oral sex will pretty much be out of the repertoire, rendering you bad in bed and me sufficiently bored. But again, this is not so much a power thing but more my not wanting to be the only one doing it.
There are girls out there who like to give and not receive. While some guys may be thinking “Jackpot” I would actually not be comfortable dating (theoretically, anyway) a lady in this category. While it is certainly preferable to an oral-free existence, eventually I want to return the favor, get face to face with it and go to town. I have an oral fixation, what can I say? I chew on straws at restaurants bite my nails, so it only reasons that would extend to the bedroom. But if a girl is going to draw the line at receiving oral sex, chances are anal vibrators and hot wax are not going to be in our future. But that’s just a guess.
Oral sex is crucial in any good sexual relationship. Some people see the giving of oral as a loss of power, but really it is the other way around. You have the power to give pleasure or take it away, to cause pain or stop it, and when you have someone in that state of arousal they will do a lot of things they would not otherwise do. Going down on someone first is not a concession of power, but rather an expression of expanded sexual boundaries. Should the favor not be returned in a timely manner, there is no reason you should continue giving, but most people are open to oral and it should not be a problem. Girls get more excited and closer to orgasm when you go down on them, and I don’t know a guy who doesn’t enjoy a good blow job.
So what’s the problem folks? Where’s the downside? You don’t need to wait for the other person to go there first, just man/woman up and do it. Being good in bed means sometimes going first, and any person, male or female, who is too scared or too proud to do it is probably not all that good anyway. Have a great weekend everyone! Go out and give somebody the best oral they’ve ever had.