The Seger-Sterger Weekend

For the five people I hadn't mentioned it too, I spent last weekend in the Tampa Bay area going to see Bob Seger at the St Pete Times Forum. Oddly enough, not actually located in St. Petersburg, but rather in downtown Tampa. But I suppose if the Angels can say they play in LA and the Giants can say they play in New York, anything is possible. And you wonder why most kids can't locate Texas on a map. At any rate, I had been waiting for this concert since about 1996 so it was very exciting. Bob sang a lot better than I expected him to at 112, and I got to hear all the classics I had wanted to hear. I also came to the realization that while every girl whose ever heard "We've Got Tonight" thinks it's this beautiful, pretty romantic song, its actually pretty depraved. The song is basically a guy bottom-lining a girl for a one-night stand. That is the genius of Bob Seger: He makes scumbaggerey sound poetic.

Aside form a rather uneventful night out in Tampa, the rest of the weekend consisted of a rib barbecue at the home of Leo and Carolyn Sterger in Lutz. Yes, yes, the same Leo and Carolyn Sterger who gave birth to my favorite Florida State fan, Jenn Sterger. I don't talk much anymore about my interactions with the Sterger family as first of all they are rather minimal and second of all it has gotten to a point where I've sort of forgotten how I got to know them. So the whole surreal aspect of hanging out with the family of a girl I devoted more energy to ripping than anyone in the history of this blog is more or less gone. I got to meet Jenn's sister Stacey, who was understandably confused as to why I was there. Mom explained the whole thing to her and apparently her response was "Oooh. The mean guy." Yes, Stacey, the mean guy is coming over for dinner, so make sure put lots of laxative in that chocolate cake.

The Stergers have an enormous house on an equally enormous lot in Lutz, which apparently played home to many marching band parties when the girls were in High School. Leo showed me his various landscaping projects while grandma (who also lives there. Hmm, three generations in one house? You guys would fit right in in Westchester) regaled my friend with tales of growing up in the everglades. I made mojitos for everyone and we had a delicious rib dinner. They even made beef ones especially for their Jewish guest. Jenn came by for a while, and it was the first time I had seen her not done up in cowgirl attire. I will reiterate that while definitely attractive you probably wouldn't notice her twice walking around the FSU campus.

It was at this point that Jenn Sterger uttered the words that changed my old opinion of her 180 degrees. "I'm so sick of Tom Brady," she said while watching the end of the Chargers game. "He is completely overrated and gets way too much credit for his team winning." Wow, I guess she really does know a lot about sports. Turns out the whole Sterger clan agrees with her, and me, so a better portion of the evening was spent discussing how he is no better than Jim Kelly and probably the 5^th or 6^th best in football right now. Jenn then left for a "watching football in front of the TV" date with an undisclosed guy.

So today I went back and read the post that made this blog what it is today and I thought "Wow, this is some funny shit. But man was I offbase." And not just because she hates Tom Brady. And not just because her dad made me dinner and gave me a copy of Jackass 2. It turns out Jenn really is a pretty normal girl who lives at home and drives her drunk friends around and goes over to a normal guy's house to watch football for a date. But don't get your hopes up, guys. Even girls who are only mildly famous are still out of your league. So this weekend I learned that while I was always a fan of Leo's, I guess Jenn isn't too bad either. Looks like all those people who were telling me to shut up before I got to know her were right. This is not an apology, mind you. That post has done more for me than anything else I've ever written, and I have no regrets about anything surrounding it. But it is an admission that perhaps I spoke too soon, and that maybe, just maybe, Jenn Sterger isn't everything that is wrong with America.