The Hotter Your Women, the Uglier Your Strippers
For some reason over the past few months I have become a strip club guy again. Perhaps I am far away enough removed from my employment/romantic involvement with the industry, or perhaps I am just looking for something new to do. Who knows. All I do know is I am now the guy who, after about 9 or 10 drinks is like “Dude, you know where we should go? The Strip Club.” And rarely does anyone disagree. I still really don’t spend much and am not a fan of the lapdance, so this is not becoming an expensive habit. Yet.
Having made my triumphant return to adult entertainment establishments, I have come to a very interesting conclusion: Cities with pretty girls have ugly strippers. And vice versa. This was pointed out to me by a young lady at Gold Rush one night, a young lady who was there with my group of friends as a customer and not a “dancer.” Apparently this girl had lived in Atlanta (another city not known for being top-tier in its gorgeous women) for a long time and swore up and down they had the hottest strippers she had ever seen. And as we sat at one of the biggest clubs in Miami, I couldn’t help but notice that the girls there were mediocre at best. Same for the vast majority of the other clubs I’ve been to in Dade, I just don’t remember seeing any strippers that I thought were “hot.” But the regular girls in this city? Well, while I am not their biggest fan, one would be hard pressed to argue they were anything less than top-notch.
LA and Orange County, who for my money have the best looking women in America, also had some of the more average-looking strippers in America. Surprising considering the numbers of aspiring actresses and whatnot, but having spent way more time in LA strip clubs than I ever wanted to, I can safely say the strippers are much hotter in Sacramento. Aka the home of California’s “not ready for prime time players.” Another city with its state’s second-tier girls: Tampa. But you ever been to a strip club in Tampa? Hands down best looking dancers of any city I've been to. Seattle is another city with smoking hot strippers, while the women there are, well, Seattle girls.
One might argue that because these cities have less “hot” women, the strippers look better by comparison. But if you travel, which I do, you do not get used to how women look in a certain town and you can make a pretty fair comparison. And having visited clubs in a lot of cities, I can safely say that Seattle and Sacramento put LA and Miami to shame when it comes to the looks of their strippers. And that's just one example. New York may be the exception, but there are so many people there it just reasons that they could find hot dancers. Perhaps it is because in cities full of hot girls, they pretty ones don’t need to strip. Whereas in Atlanta or Tampa, if you are the hottest girl on the block you are going to make a lot more money taking your clothes off than you would in a city where girls better looking than you are hanging out at the local dive bar.
I am not sure what causes this phenomenon. And I may be wrong. But I have been to a lot of clubs in a lot of cities and this has been my experience. Perhaps should I continue on my recent penchant for exotic dancing I can provide a more in-depth analysis. But for now, well, I may have to venture a couple of counties north to find the strippers who actually make me want to spend money. Because paying $20 for 3 minutes of grinding from a solid 5 is just a waste of money.