Thursday, February 22, 2007

No Matter How Good Things Are, I Can Still Find Something to Complain About

I came in today with five different ideas for posts. Five. And when I sat down to write them you know how many of them I felt like I could put up without causing some sort of shitstorm? Zero. None. Zilch. This is why I haven’t had a post since Monday. Makes me wish I kept a LiveJournal where I controlled who came in and out.

When I started this thing 16 long months ago, 8 people knew the URL. 8. So whatever I wrote all I had to do was make sure none of them would be upset and I was in the clear. But then I realized what fun is this when I can’t get a massive audience and all the attention and adoration that an attention whore like me needs. And so the blog took off and the audience grew and now people who didn’t even know I have a blog text message me saying “Hey, are you White Dade?” Awesome. Sort of.

While writing this little daily journal of sorts has done more for me than any single project I have ever undertaken (Marines and College aren’t exactly projects but more extended lifestyle choices) it has also now escaped my control. The wonderful thing about a blog is that nobody is editing you. Nobody is changing your words around or making you cut out sections you like. That is until you are successful with it. Then your content is controlled by the people who read it. I had to delete what was in my opinion the best post I ever wrote last week because of people finding it. Now, well, now there are few if any stories from my life I can tell. Ever.

A long time ago, I decided to start this thing so that I wouldn’t have to keep typing the same stories over and over again to friends across the country. Now, with a daily audience well into the four figures (oooh, impressive, I know) most of my stories cannot be told without somebody getting upset. So I move on to thinly veiled generalizations. But people almost always see through those, and even if they are totally off base most of them are still like “Was that about me?” No, it wasn’t you self-centered moron. It was about a lot of people, but if you see yourself as the brunt of that rant, well, that’s on you buddy. That’s on you.

While I do enjoy the various great things that have happened to me as a result of this blog’s popularity, far too long to list here (and, again, a lot of things I can’t write about) I am sometimes jealous of the people who can just write about their lives without consequence. It is very therapeutic to be able to put what’s on your mind down on paper and after 16 months I no longer have that ability. And the more people I meet, the less I can write. Now I basically find general rants that everyone can relate to (or despise) and leave most of myself out of it.

I suppose everything in life has an upside and a downside. And the limitations I have to put on myself now so as to not piss off or even alienate people is the price I pay for the spoils of success. I do appreciate everybody who reads this and hope everyone continues to. But today, well, today this was the only topic I could think of that wouldn’t result in an irate phone call sometime later.

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9 Comments:

At 3:23 PM, Blogger Moi said...

I feel this way exactly & have been feeling it a lot more recently. My family, many coworkers, & most of my friends (and dates) end up knowing about my posts and I have a lot of things I don't feel I can discuss anymore. Makes me what to start a second blog completely unassociated with the one I have or my name, etc.

 
At 3:26 PM, Blogger Bad at Life said...

I totally hear you on this. I feel like it has gotten significantly harder to write as more people learn about my blog. It's a tough balance. I think i enjoy it too much to quit, but there are days where I think about starting over and not telling anybody about it.

 
At 6:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Quit being a pussy and just put up the posts.

 
At 6:25 PM, Blogger lieutenant winslow said...

anonymous is right (even if he/she is a gigantic pussy for themself for saying it anonymously.)

seriously, if a man can't do coke and bang hookers and then go brag about it on the internet without fear of persecution, well then the terrorists have won my friend.

 
At 7:04 PM, Blogger B-Brod said...

This is tuff my friend, but I honestly believe that the problem isn’t with you. The problem lies in the people who are offended. You wouldn’t ever have gained popularity had your ideas and stories not been interesting and fun to read. I think this only became a problem when very specific people who are close and important to you found the blog.
I mean, if you had a following of thousands and none of them knew your true identity, you could keep your personal life as separate as you wanted.
This doesn’t help much now though. What’s done is done and even though I wish those who were offended would simply stop reading, I’m sure such an idea wouldn’t occur to them.

I hope you keep writing in some fashion. don’t know what else you could do other than to start a new with a new name and know that your writing is really good enough to gain you the same level of success in time. The lesson though would be to never tell anyone that you are behind it EVER.

 
At 9:05 AM, Blogger Scott said...

I agree with winslow. As long as you aren't trying to profit from this endeavor, you're not hurting anything, so post away. The people you will offend are either related to you, are too easily offended, or should just learn to keep their mouths shut. You're not curing cancer.

Besides, as soon as you get married, the muzzle goes on. Bark at the moon while you still have a chance.

 
At 10:03 AM, Blogger Blind Mind said...

Biggest mistake you bloggers make is letting people know who you are. If they dont know you, they dont read stories that they can be offended by. Then again, you probably dont have much of a reader base that way either. I think your posts are downright hilarious at times. Between the who-ers, dumbass friends, and your whining about Miami and finding girls here worth dating, youve got some funny stories. If people get offended for being the subjects of these stories, maybe they shouldnt act like dumbasses? Or maybe they shouldnt trust you with their secrets? hahaha

 
At 10:45 AM, Blogger Cliff said...

Well if you won't talk about the underage Mexican Midget gang bang we attended last week after donating blood for Castro's hospitalization, I will....

 
At 5:22 PM, Blogger imaginaryconversations said...

My blog is anonymous and with readers in single digits, but it's exactly that theurapetic outlet you miss, so I know how you feel there.

I like your blog though, so maybe you could somehow restrict who can read particular posts? Also, to get that attention and other things you're enjoying, you have to keep the tone of this blog the same. You have a dilemma on your hands here, buddy, because the success is caused precisely by what now is giving you problems.

 

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