Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Oh, But I Was DRUNK.......

For many, many, many years, guys have been shouldering the blame for regrettable, drunken sex. Like “Ooooh, that guy waited for that girl to get wasted and then took advantage of her.” Now, these girls aren’t necessarily crying “rape” or that it was something they didn’t WANT to do, more that its something they regret and blame on the guy taking advantage of their inebriated state. But it occurred to me the other day: Unless this girl is getting drugged, nobody is forcing the liquor down her throat.

Now, I will admit there are the cases where guys will continue buying a girl drinks or encourage her to imbibe more than she might normally in order to get her a little less inhibited. And these may in fact be situations where the guy would be getting a girl drunk to take advantage of her. And if you aks me, that’s just kinda shady. But put these douchebags aside, and I think in the name of gender equality we need to start holding drunk girls accountable for their actions.

You see I know and you know girls pretty much want sex as much as we do. Janet Jackson let us all know that when she sang “All the girls at the party, look at that body….got a nice package, alright. Guess I’m gonna have to ride it tonight.” But my guess is that after Janet decided to "ride it" she immediately went over to the bar and knocked back a couple shots of 151. The difference between women and men is that the ladies they have to deal with a lot more shit after a random sexual encounter. So a girl may see a guy she likes and want to fuck his brains but doesn’t really want to deal with any of the social ramifications that may come from it. So what is the solution? Start drinking.

Girls sees guy. Girl wants to fuck guy. Girl starts taking shots so she will be more flirtations and, more importantly, be able to blame her actions on the alcohol. The next day when her girlfriends ask her what happened, she will know full well she ended up having crazy sex all night with the guy she wanted to go home with, but she can legitimately answer “I don’t know. I was soooo wasted. I kinda forgot what happened.” Riiiiight. You forgot but for some reason you can’t walk straight and your hair is a ridiculous mess. And there’s the issue of that condom wrapper on your floor.

Furthermore, instead of her looking like a “slut” she can make the guy look like a “slimeball” for “taking advantage of her.” So the social debasement is then switched from the female to the male and all of a sudden she is held harmless. If the guy is sober, he was a sober sexual predator, if he was drunk he was an out’-of-control alcoholic. Either way, it is somehow now our fault that you needed to get plastered to do what you had wanted to do all night long.

In a perfect world, neither side should have to deal with any sort of social ramifications for a drunken hookup. Both sides would wake up, go home, and nurse their respective hangovers. And while on Spring Break this may be the case, in the real world it is never so simple. But lets stop blaming the guys for regrettable intoxicated sex and start recognizing that girls may be getting drunk on purpose as an excuse for their actions. Its not our fault you need to be drunk to justify having sex, ladies. It’s your own. If you want something, go for it,. Most guys will respect you more. Otherwise, don’t come crying to me when you wake up to someone you didn’t want to wake up next to. You brought this upon yourself.

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7 Comments:

At 11:04 AM, Blogger Blind Mind said...

You know, this also happens to guys... I just had this happen to me just last night. I was out with a girl and every instinct I have is telling me not to bang her for multiple reasons, with the number one being that she shows major "clinging" signs and Im not all about her like that. So what happens? We end up getting hammered and fuck all night... This happened because I have willpower, but my penis does not. Now I gotta figure out how to work my way outta this one without being a total asshole cuz she is actually a nice girl and cool to hang with. Thank god for a hectic work travel schedule...

 
At 6:08 PM, Blogger Andy said...

This is you most correctamungus post. On the money there, papa.

 
At 11:32 PM, Blogger Manola Blablablanik said...

Well, it's all about personal responsibility in the end, male or female ...

 
At 6:47 AM, Anonymous Kendall Mike said...

then why did she press charges?

 
At 4:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

would you have sex with someone who was obviously mentally ill? no? then don't have sex with someone who's half-conscious, either. you nitwit. take responsibility for not taking advantage of someone else when they are vulnerable.

 
At 12:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are you seriously using Janet Jackson as your evidence that girls just want sex?

A girl should be able to go to a party without the risk of some prick trying to take advantage of her. And while there is some responsibility on her part, that still doesn't justify some guy trying to take advantage of her

 
At 3:55 AM, Blogger This Is Just Me said...

Sometimes people end up with that "one too many" buzz that doesn't necessarily mean they're half-conscious, just that their judgment is slightly impaired. So maybe yeah they are thinking I'd like to "ride" that, but if they were sober they would weigh the consequences in their mind before going for it. Of course add to that the fact that a guy could have also had one or two beers to many and you've got two people making impaired choices.

 

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