Telling the Credit Card Compaines to Fuck Off
Like so many young college students, I racked up more than my share of credit card debt. Through four years of shopping at
See, here’s the thing: I haven’t charged anything on any of those cards since 2002. Which means, as far as credit reporting goes, that is the last time I incurred a debt. So by 2009 I’m in the clear. That’s 7 years I could have spent paying money, or seven years I could have spent spending money. Guess which I chose. And what was the consequence? Well, my credit score is probably lower than my age, so that would then preclude me from large scale borrowing for a house or a new car. Neither of which I am in a financial position to do anyway. I can’t get any more credit cards, but at this point that’s kind of like telling a cokehead “Okay, since you abused that drug that almost ruined your life, you can’t have any more?” Really? Damn. And I was hoping you guys could ass-rape me with interest some more.
Thanks to my transient lifestyle, Credit Card companies have a hard time tracking me down. Hell, the pizza guy has a hard time tracking me down since my address is actually on a street that doesn’t exist. I have had three different cell phone numbers and about nine different addresses since they last found me. I work for cash now and the IRS is lucky I fear them so much or they wouldn’t be seeing a dime either. Occasionally they call my mom and ask her if it bothers her that I am not making good on my obligations. And she basically tells them they are morons for giving credit to an 18-year-old and deserve what they get. And she is right.
I have ZERO guilt taking money form Credit Card companies. They are loan sharks in suits and use every predatory practice on Earth to milk money from people who can’t afford it. Why I now boycott their services. They lobby congress to allow them to go after people in bankruptcy, charge exorbitant interest rates and switch billing cycles to three weeks instead of four so they can compound their 21.9% APR more often. And you have to make a minimum payment 5 more times every year. These are people who deserve to get stiffed ,and I suggest all American’s do the same.
With the exception of perhaps buying a home sometime after I’m 35 or a new car, I do not plan on borrowing money from anyone I do not know personally again. It is a sham and I suggest everyone adopt my approach and just tell B of A to fuck off when they call you asking why you haven’t paid. Until they lobby congress enough to legalize corporate Goon Squads to come to your house (which is not out of the question given the outrageous shit they’ve already gotten) there is no reason to fear these people. When they call your house just do what I do: Tell them they are idiots if they ever think they are getting paid and say you will report them for harassment if they ever call you again. It miraculously stops until your debt is sold to another collection agency and you repeat the process. The debt retires eventually and you are in the clear. Just don’t get any more cards and you can spend all that money you would have given to the Credit Card companies on stuff you’d probably have to charge anyway, and the vicious cycle of debt sis over with the fat cats left holding the bag. And if any of you creditors have googled my name and found this blog through the Website I write for, I got a little message for you:
GOOD LUCK MOTEHRFUCKERS! EAT A 24.9% APR DICK AND I’LL SEE YOU IN HELL!!!!!!!!