Thursday, April 19, 2007

Baseball: It's a Man's Sport

Baseball is my favorite sport. To watch, anyway. I can’t really put my finger on why, but there is just something about the pace, the strategy, the fact that you can sit at a game and have a real conversation with the person you went with, all of these things really make it the perfect spectator sport. At least, it does for most guys.

Unfortunately, I have not met too many girls who really like baseball. Sure, there are some who will humor you and go to a game, but most by the 6th inning are beginning to whine and say “It’s sooo boring. When can we just gooooo?” They, of course, fail to understand that the 6th inning is actually when baseball gets interesting, when managers must match lefties to lefties and righties to righties and pull double-switches and pinch hit and sac bunt. These are the subtle nuances that make baseball such an awesome sport to watch. But, sadly, they are lost on most girls.

I have sat in front of a good many women at baseball games in my time who have had to have every play explained to them. “Well how come he got to run from third to home if the guy caught the ball?” This is fine, but I have to think that by 35 most ladies have seen at least one game, on TV or in person, and had some guy, a father, brother or boyfriend, explain this to them before. They just decide to not retain the information since they consider baseball to be so dull and complex anyway.

Girls will go to football games because while football is infinitely more complicated than baseball, they can get drunk, yell and scream, have absolutely no idea what is going on and still have a good time. Some learn the basic rules in college if they went to a school where that is a big thing, so there are always stories to tell and enthusiasm to be feigned. I think a lot of women also are under the impression that men love football (we do) and that their interest somehow makes them more attractive. No, not really.

Basketball is really the ultimate chick sport. The rules are incredibly simple, there is lots of fast paces stuff going on and they get to jump up and scream a lot. And it is usually pretty apparent when to do it. Ball goes in hoop, clap your hands. Basketball is also a sexy sport to be into, since it is where celebrities are spotted courtside and one rappers talk about incessantly, So your typical girl with a copy of “Now That’s What I Call Music Volume 612” and subscribes to US Weekly will more than likely be down to accept your $98 ticket behind the visitor’s backboard.

But baseball? Most women I know, old and young, just can’t appreciate its subtleties. They can’t get excited about a well-executed sacrifice bunt or a hitter who fouled off 9 pitches to get the one he wants. “Why are they clapping? He got out!” she’ll ask. “He hasn’t even hit the ball yet, why is everyone cheering?” I’m not sure what it is about the female brain that does not appreciate baseball the way men do. It’s not a Mars/Venus thing because girls will get excited for basketball of football, but for some reason the more slow-paced and intellectual baseball does not hold the same appeal. As I’ve said before,

I don’t like girls who are big sports fans, it’s a turnoff along the lines of a guy who is too into fashion. I don’t want a girl who can tell me the Marlin’s backup catcher. But one who can sit through nine innings and actually understand why I am applauding a guy who got out on purpose? Well that scores more points than the girl drunk at a tailgate any day.


At 10:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I sat in front of the hottest Brazilian girl at the game yesterday. She was sitting by herself drinking beer and yelling at the Mets fans to shut the fuck up (God, I hate Mets fans). She also gave me the run down on who was being sent down to Albuquerque and why. oh, and how much Jorge Julio sucked...

by the way, did I mention I almost came in my pants.

At 12:10 PM, Blogger minijonb said...

Actually, I like girls who are into sports. My girlfriend digs hockey. She wants to see blood spilled on the ice when we go to see a game.

At 12:12 PM, Blogger minijonb said...

...and, yeah, I need to catch a baseball game soon. We've got a Single A club here in town. It's not like heading to Chicago or Detroit for the real deal, but it's still a good time.

At 12:27 PM, Blogger MonkeyPants said...

Baseball sucks. Baseball is for losers and poor people. No one I respect would ever like baseball.

At 1:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Baseball is a simple game? You obviously don't know the game very well.

At 4:23 PM, Blogger Moi said...

Apparently you haven't spent much time in Chicago... You'll find some of the most beautiful, fun, sporty gals at baseball games at Wrigley all summer long.

At 6:28 PM, Anonymous Nike Bootery said...

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At 3:35 PM, Blogger Femmefan said...

Oh you are such a caveman!
On one hand you moan because the chicks you take to a game don't "get" baseball with all of its nuances and pace. And then you turn around and groan that you are turned off by chicks who know too much about the game.
Silly boy, real men know how to make better choices and can tell which chicks are real.
It's up to you to "get" them.

At 3:48 PM, Anonymous Johnson said...

"On one hand you moan because the chicks you take to a game don't "get" baseball with all of its nuances and pace. And then you turn around and groan that you are turned off by chicks who know too much about the game."

I think you’re misunderstanding WD. A girl who understands and appreciates sports is one thing. A sports nut is quite another. I think he’s saying he doesn’t want to be at dinner with a girl discussing life or whatever and she’s throwing out Craig Biggio’s slugging percentage vs. left handed pitchers in a leap year season.

At 1:35 PM, Blogger White Dade said...

Anon - Brazilian...Strike One. Knows who is being sent to the Marlins AA affiliate...Strike 2. All she needed to do was ask me to buy her a beer and I'd have tossed her like she used too much pine tar.

Mini - Minor league games are fun. I went to 2 Sacramento RvierCats games last week and had a better time than I did watching the Diamondbacks in Phoenix.

Moe - I have always said there are exceptions, GEEZ! BTW..popping the cherry on US Cellular field next week. Any tips?

Anon - Simple compared to football.

Moi - Well, we shall see about that, shant we?

Femmefan - Johnson stole my thunder

Johnson - I believe that figure is .279

At 3:52 PM, Blogger MonkeyPants said...

Never been actually. And why no Wrigley???

At 2:04 PM, Blogger Moi said...

If you're going to catch the Sox at the Cell, you need to get a funnel cake. Period.


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