Trust Your Gut
There are irrational, over-possessive people out there. I like to call them Hispanics, but some do not fit this designation. Some people are just insecure in themselves and never feel like they are good enough for the person they are with and therefore assume they are out looking for something better at every opportunity. For years, I have prided myself on not being one of those people. But what I have come to learn is that there is a fine line between possessive and naive, and it is a hard one to straddle.
In every relationship there is a point where one party’s behavior changes dramatically. Perhaps it is the first time they don’t pick up the phone when you call. Or maybe it’s when the time for a call to be returned is 12 hours longer than usual. Perhaps it is a lack of interest in sex, or sometimes it is as simple as a change in the tone of voice. They are the subtleties someone who knows you well can pick up. Sometimes this happens after a major fight, a life-changing event or some explicable factor that makes the change fully explainable. But I have learned something in my years, kids, and that is that when it happens for no apparent reason you are not the only person in their life at that moment.
I have never, EVER had that gut feeling and not been right. I can usually tell within 24 hours but choose not to press the issue out of fear of looking like said overprotective jerk. I like to think I am the type of person to give someone the benefit of the doubt, especially when it is someone I trust. And because I am generally very confident in myself in relationships (evidenced by my continual ability to date strippers) I never fully think something is going on that shouldn’t be. And that is where naiveté comes in. Experience is the greatest cure for that disease and what I have learned is that if my gut tells me something else is going on, is most motherfuckingly is.
When your gut tells you this is the case, do not sit back and wait for events to play out. At this point it is okay to investigate. Make no apologies and demand the truth. Follow someone, check their phone records, call "Cheaters," do whatever it takes. Because if you are right, they really can't complain. Their actions were the impetus for yours. Will it hurt? Probably, and more often than not you are simply speeding up a process that will have inevitably happened anyway. But ultimately it is better to know what is going on and perhaps even get a sincere apology out of the person rather than sitting and waiting and tying your stomach in knots for days at a time.
My days of ignoring obvious signs are over, and I will never again make apologies for being suspicious of anyone. What I have realized is that I am not naturally a suspicious person, my radar for inappropriate behavior is not very sensitive. So when it is set off it is almost always right. In my case, when I suspect something is going on its not because I am insecure. Its because what you are doing is so obvious it has alerted even the most non-possessive of people. And you, my dear, are most likely in the wrong.