Tuesday, April 24, 2007


I like to think of myself as a rather forward-thinking and open-minded person when it comes to homosexuals. I am all for gays being able to do all the things that us straight folks do (aside from the whole military thing which is a whole other post in and of itself) and I often wonder about those who devote their lives to making sure they can’t. As I have said before, I think homosexuality is the same to as interracial dating. Who you fuck is your own business and decisions like home loans, employment or other things not related to your sexual preference should not have that factored in. Marriage, well, I really don’t care if gays get married or not, and again I don’t really understand why anyone does. It is a non issue to me since I’m not gay, so if some judge wants to say it’s okay for them to get hitched, then fine. No skin off my nose. Let them be miserable too. And now that I have thrown out my open-minded disclaimer….

Dude, I get seriously creeped out when I see two guys holding hands. I mean, like turn the other way and run creeped out. I was on a large college campus (aka world capitols of open-mindedness and unabashed liberalism) today and saw two dudes walking around with interlocked fingers. And I had about the same reaction I do when I see a guy with half his face burned off. It was like “Oh, dear God, please don’t do that.” Now, theoretically, yes, these Bobby and Billy have every right to walk around campus holding hands like Bobby and Susie do. But that does not stop me from being extremely uncomfortable with the sight.

I tend to avoid gay clubs, not that I would want to go anyway, but I really don’t want to see random guy hookups on the dance floor. I have avoided watching “Brokeback Mountain” because I know I couldn’t handle the gay sex sequence. Just doing the image search for that picture to your left made my stomach turn. There are even scenes on “Will and Grace” that make me squirm. Like I said, I’m not for making any laws against it, but man it is just not something I can handle watching.

I recently had a very attractive girl I met ask me if I’d be down for a threesome with another guy if I let him suck me off. She insisted that wasn’t gay. I politely told her it had been nice meeting her and did two quick shots to forget that it had even been brought up. I am seriously hoping this is just her way of getting guys she doesn’t like to go away.

I am pretty comfortable with the fact that I am straight and can honestly say I have ZERO curiosity about other guys. At all. So this is not an issue of suppressed homosexuality, if that is what you’re thinking. Maybe there is a part of me that is still just a little old-fashioned and is still a little weirded out by two guys doing it. And apparently, by “it,” I mean holding hands.


At 10:47 PM, Blogger Paul said...

i guess reservists never play "homo chicken"? that's a shame.

and how is getting sucked off by another dude "not gay"? i bet she runs around and tells everyone she's still a "virgin" cuz she's never let anyone blow a load in her get real.

At 11:56 AM, Anonymous Johnson said...

I miss the old days of your blog when a post like this would’ve incited about 50 “White Dade is a racist homophobe” within about 10 minutes of going up. Where are the haters?

At 1:28 PM, Blogger David in DC said...

Wow, it shook you up you posted the same thing twice on one blog. Was the previous post meant for the simultaneous blog or is there a third duplicate there?

I ask because, as you know, my workplace blocks the simulaneous blog as sexually explicit.

At 2:31 PM, Blogger RazzleDazzle said...

Hahahaha, Whitedade, this post is cute! Can imagine you cringing when you see guys holding hands.

Maybe you should watch Brokeback Mountain and that might change your perspective...a little. Their love was so pure and normal. Ooh Jake....

At 3:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This reminds me of that Chapelle Show skit where its guys night out and they get wasted and the guys stop to pick up a hooker and they are obviously dudes. But one guy gets out anyway and comes back and the other guys don't know what exactly to say, but then they all proceed get out of the car for services and one of the guys says "a mouth is mouth". Kinda makes one wonder really about who gives better head. Granted if you can't show up to the party (boner) whats the point.

Dade, I don't know why it grosses you out so much. When things gross me out and guys kissing is one, I just get a little shiver and then move on with my life. Gay sex? I don't know. I will say though, that since anal is so prevelant today, what would be funny is porn that switches off and on. It would have to be super close up but just show backdoor action and then when its done pan out to see who the characters are. It would totally mess with dudes heads. One minute it would be "That chick took it like a champ" and 5 minutes later it would be "Those were dudes?!" It would be hilarious to watch, you know, kinda like that Ali G show where the gay german guy has all the guys on the beach doing stuff then at the end tells them its for German gay television and they freak out. I'm just saying, it would be hard to tell the difference.

Gays in the military, you should explain why you don't want them. I agree with you, but hearing your perspective would be interesting.

Your blog is getting a bit political, I guess once you run out of material, politics is the next logical step ie Jon Stewart. Bazing (on stewart more so than you)

At 7:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The doubled posts would have been MUCH more interesting if the word "heterosexual" appeared in the 2nd where the word "homosexual" appeared in the first.

At 9:30 PM, Blogger Some Catchy Chic said...

Hm...homosexuals. I think you should watch that "scissors" episode of South Park. It's pretty disturbing...yet kind of hilarious.

At 10:34 PM, Blogger White Dade said...

Paul - We were never in the field long enough to get that gay. I do remmeber faux-gangbangs, however.

Johnson - We are on the other side of the hill now, my friend.

DIDC - Thanks for pointign out the error. I have fixed it.

RD - Not gonna happen.

Anon - the prevalence of anal? Excuse me? I haven't gotten anal in like a year and a half. WTF? And, yeah, it is getting a little more political because you can only talk about sex and Hispanics so much before oyu need more material.

Anon2 - Thanks for the idea.

SCC - Havne't seen it. Sorry.

At 11:22 PM, Blogger Paul said...

lol @ mock-rapes. i was emailing my sister's friend when i was on ship and said something about how mock-gang-rapings make shiplife that much livable, and got a nasty email back about how rape was nothing to joke about, blbhalbhah. that was the end of that email correspondence.

At 10:49 PM, Blogger Armin L. said...

You'll get used to seeing guys together eventually. Don't worry, if your not homosexually inclined why care?


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