Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Don't be Scur'd...It's Just Miami

A lot of people think about moving to Miami. I was once one of them. But a good number, and I'm not sure what the exact statistics on this are, but a good number of Americans who try and relocate to Dade last about six months and then hightail it out. They, like so many, think we're basically LA with humidity or New York with Palm Trees and assume life here is somehow easier than it is wherever they come from just because you don't have to deal with snow and ice. And while this may be true for some, it is definitely not the case for all. So, in an effort to save a lot of Americans moving expenses, I decided to let them know exactly what they were in for ahead of time. So I present to you...


  • Now, as I do from time to time, there may be some slight exaggeration for comedic effect as to the condition of this city, its inhabitants and its drivers. But this sem-encompassing guide lets the prospective new Miamian know where they should consider moving, how to look for work, how to drive and how to make friends. At least from my experience. The point of the guide is not to frighten people to death, but just to let them know that Miami isn't for everybody. So know what you are in for before you pack the Mayflower vans.

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    At 12:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I think I figured out your love/hate relationship with this city. You hate the foreign culture (the perceived rudeness, the language barrier, the old men selling mangos on the street, etc.) but you love the permissiveness (the 24 hr liquor, the cops who dont give a fuck, the drugs).

    At 3:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Bro lemme get a studio on Sobe for, like, bro, a grande a month.


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