Casual Dating is Not For Everyone
Casual dating. It’s sort of a vague term, isn’t it? What exactly does “casual” mean? Does it mean you show up in polos and jeans for dates? No invitiaiton is required and the ceremonial formalities are set aside? You only eat at Baja Fresh? No, that would be Quick Casual Dating. A lot of people have different definitions for casual dating, but I think to most it means spending some social time together, generally sleeping together, but not having any sort of obligation to the other person. More than a fuck buddy but not a full blow significant other Basically, it is all the fun of a relationship without all the hassle. Of course, the downside is that if you are only dating someone casually, they may casually drop you like hot potato if they don’t like the color of the shirt you’re wearing.
Most relationships start out casual, then either progress into semi-serious exclusive relationships or terminate, within a short period of time. There are of course exceptions. For example when one or both people are leaving the geographic location in the near future (like the Spring Break boyfriend) and no future is intended past the occasional “Hey, I’m in town for a convention, want to get together?” Or sometimes neither party wants the responsibility of a relationship but still wants to “hang out” and “get laid.” Which is all well and good so long as both parties know the deal. But here, kids, is the problem….
A lot of people can’t handle it. And, not surprisingly, a lot of these people are female. More have become accustomed to the concept, but women still often have some sort of emotional attachment to someone they sleep with and spend time with regularly and therefore cannot exist in this sort of “casual relationship” vacuum. But I have found that as much shit as guys talk about being is some sort of “perfect situation” where they have someone to sleep with and someone to take them to the airport if need be, a lot of them can’t handle casuality either. Guys who brag about how they have strings free sex with a girl they repeatedly describe as “cool” and “fun”? Yeah, the minute she starts seeing someone else he’ll be sending roses to her office. Trust me.
In much the same vain as men and women who try to be platonic friends, one person usually starts to want some sort of commitment. And then the fun is ruined. Then decisions have to be made and ultimatums are given and either one person gets hurt or another gets lassoed into a situation that is more committed than they had intended. And nobody ends up happy.
My point today is this: If you can’t handle casual dating, don’t do it. If you are not fully prepared for the realization that you are no the only casual partner this person has, don’t do it. If you aren’t totally comfortable with the fact that the relationship, such as it is, will come to a predetermined end, don’t get into it. Oh, so you started developing feelings for someone? Well, that’s sweet. But knowing you are the sort of person who develops feelings should arm you with the knowledge that you probably cannot handle sex and social outings with someone to whom you have no obligation whatsoever. And who has no obligation to you. Stick to one night stands or relationships because this is a road you are not properly equipped to go down. And this goes for men and women. Casual dating is not for the faint of heart, folks. Probably only for the ones made of stone.