Monday, September 10, 2007

If You're Here From the Alligator, Welcome!

In case you are here for a reason other than this story:

No, I am not back. I just wanted to give a quick orientation to the possible new folks who may be coming my way thanks to the good folks at the Alligator.

Today I would like to give the “Hey, I wonder why anyone cares about this guy?” or the “Hey, I think that guy is in my Reporting Lecture” or the “Hey, that’s my TA!” crowd a little primer on White Dade. First, the posts on this page are simply the last few I wrote before I hung up the keyboard back in July. The real good stuff is linked over on the right hand side over there and is probably waaaaay more entertaining and offensive and incriminating than the five or six posts I have on this front page (one of which was not even written by me). So check those out before you call the Dean’s office asking for my removal.

Oh, and that picture on my profile? Definitely not me, Bob. Definitely not me.

For those who wonder what all this is about, apparently some people were a little miffed that I had been admitted to the Journalism School at UF. Miffed enough, I guess, to contact the school and let them know about White Dade. I’m not sure why this is, as we boast an athletic department full of people with extensive criminal records who seemed to get in just fine. But apparently a guy who might be a little frustrated by the inherant language barriers in Dade County should be denied admittance. So the Alligator got wind of it and since UF was playing Little Sisters of The Poor in football last week, and, oh yeah, we're in Gainesville where it's either report about this or the pothole that got fixed over off Waldo, I got a call asking for comment before they ran the story. And so we get what we got here today. Ironic to run it on September 11, don't you think?

This blog once had a readership of about 1500 people a day. Not exactly the circulation of the Alligator, but pretty good for a guy who was bored at work and never promoted his blog past his circle of acquaintances. My most noteworthy post was a scathing indictment of FSU Cowgirl Jenn Sterger which, along with getting me on the radio and linked by dozens of college message boards and Web sites(including UF’s), also got me a free dinner at Hooters with the Cowgirls and barbecue at her parents' house. You know why? Because Jenn Sterger had a sense of humor about it, that’s why. If anyone ever stood to be personally offended by anything I wrote, it was the girl who I described as being “everything wrong with America.” And you know what the first thing she said to me when I met her was? “That thing about me was the funniest shit I ever read.” And then she proceeded to invite me to dinner. Instead of getting mad, she learned to laugh at herself, and at me, and nobody got too bent out of shape.

So before you go digging through my archives looking for something that you can get outraged about, remember to have a sense of humor. Or else it is in fact YOU who is everything that is wrong with America and that, friends, is a lot worse that some girl at a football game.

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At 10:29 PM, Blogger Gabriel J. Lopez-Bernal said...

Ha, I read This today and thought to myself, No way! It couldn't be WD, Could it?

At 8:57 AM, Blogger minijonb said...

How's school going? Everyone I know is trying to talk me into going back to get another degree.

At 1:42 PM, Blogger Manuel A.Tellechea said...

White Dade R.I.P.

As this is a review of Cuban-American blogs, I do not usually concern myself with blogs written by Anglos for the expressed purpose of heaping scorn on Cubans and Hispanics in general. Perhaps I should. The most prominent of these blogs is (or was) White Dade. I only learned of its existence at its funeral. The author was obliged to close his blog when he was "outed" as a racist by his college newspaper. Before the prospect of losing his sinecure as a grad-student-cum-instructor, he put away his bedsheet and closed his blog. Well, almost. He has already had more farewells than Maria Callas. He can't seem to let go of his fixation and keeps revisiting it "for one last time" often. Ultimately, I believe he will give up the sinecure; he seems far more vested in spreading racial and ethnic division in Dade County, which is like taking coal to Newcastle.

One of White Dade's last posts was written as HBC (Hot Blonde Chick). In it he/she complains endlessly about the unwanted attentions of short Hispanic men at local bars, where at 6'2" he/she towers over everybody. White Dade seems particularly fixated with the size of Hispanic men's penises, which he believes to be smaller than the endowments of white men. (Where is that study?) HBC's "multiple references to Hispanic guys's dick sizes," which White Dade supposedly had to tone down, bespeaks more than a casual acquaintance. Repulsed by Hispanic men, HBC nonetheless seems to be as fixated on their dicks as the schoolmarms and typists who used to go on week-ends to Havana before the Revolution rebuckled their chastity belts.

I always thought that Freud was an imposter, a self-deluded imposter, but an imposter nonetheless. Now I am not so sure anymore. Perhaps everything can ultimately be reduced to and interpreted in the light of penis envy. Where Freud appears to have gone wrong is in attributing this psychosis to women.

Review of Cuban-American Blogs

At 2:57 PM, Blogger SteveBM said...


You got to this blog far too late. The blog was closed long before this story broke. Also, the "HBC" post was probably the worst and lamest of them all, and Im sure WD would agree with that. As for the other posts re: Cubans in Miami, this is a blog. Its a "diary" that is open to the public and does not disclose who the author is. The author is allowed to speak his mind about any damn topic he pleases and then leaves the door open for others to share their feelings as well. Much like Howard Stern, there are many who like WD and many who loathe him. Judging by the amount of visits his site had gained after certain points and the frequency of repeat visitors, Id say that there were a lot who agree with WD even if they are in the minority. Much like Iraqis and Afghanis are tired of the US imposing their values/beliefs upon them, there are a lot of people in Miami who are tired of being subjected to Latin culture.

At 4:05 PM, Blogger Manuel A.Tellechea said...

blind mice:

No one in Miami is subjected to Cuban culture. There are enough enclaves there that are untouched by it, and others which cherry pick elements of our culture which they like and can adopt while rejecting other elements which don't appeal to them. The economic miracle that Cubans refugees wrought in Miami is often discussed. What is not so often mentioned is the beneficial effect which Cuban-Americans have had on the oldtime racist thinking that used to pervade every corner of this region and which still has its redoubts in areas not subjected to their influence.

Although I just became acquainted with him, I will miss White Dade. As I told him on my blog:

White Dade:

I only regret that I did not know about your blog before your late capitulation to political correctness. Not actually living in Dade County would not, I think, have been an encumbrance to you; principles, especially warped ones, remain in place even when one does not.

Your "good ideas" were being used up elsewhere, you say? So you have only a limited quantity at your disposal and must market those as profitably as you can?

What is this other renumerative gig of yours? Editor of the New Klan Klugle? Well, a PAID writing job is a PAID writing job.

It is precisely because I can read someone's style as if it were his fingerprints that I can assert definitively that HBC is your alter ego.

Although I just met you, I will certainly miss you; and more sincerely, I think, than those who actually like you. Oh, what a target you would have provided! No need to stuff bogeymen with you around.

I wish you succeess and distance in all your future endeavors. Wherever you go in life I am sure that your writings will always be informed by that little racist voice speaking from inside you.

At 7:47 AM, Blogger Manuel A.Tellechea said...

White Dade:

Like most Anglos whose acquaintance with Hispanics never proceeds beyond the bagboy at the supermarket (who is never Cuban), you cannot tell Hispanics apart and confuse Mexicans and Central Americans for Cubans. Yes, Mexicans and Central Americans are shorter in height than other Hispanics because of their indigenous heritage. Cubans, who are either white, black or some admixture threof, are not short; and those raised in this country, with the right nutrition, are rarely if ever short. The height of Cuban-Americans is comparable to that of Anglo-Americans and that may be the only area where they are comparable. In terms of education and income, and, indeed, on all other indices of socio-economic development, Cuban-Americans lead Anglos. So if the flashy car (and money behind it) is what appeals to the [Ho]t [B]londe [C]hick, she is more likely to find it with Cuban-Americans than with, well, White Dade.

About HBC, she is demonstrably you; that part of you, which no male can confess, which fears the reason you always strike out with Cuban-American females or lose out to Cuban-American males is that Anglos have smaller dicks. Your way of compensating for this perceived deficiency is to create an imaginary female who attests that Hispanics have smaller dicks than whites though she claims never to have bedded one (preferring instead black men).

For real white women the first stop on the road to black men is usually brown men, and many never go any farther because they get from Hispanic men all that they want or can handle without proceeding farther down the racial divide, which in America means becoming a social pariah.

At 3:13 PM, Blogger SteveBM said...


I said nothing about Cuban culture. Latin does not equal only Cuban. You must have failed the reading comprehension part of the SATs...

At 3:52 PM, Blogger Manuel A.Tellechea said...

Blind Mouse:

Of course, "Latin" does not mean Cuban. In fact, it means not Cuban. Cubans don't identify themselves as "Latins," much less "latinos."

SAT remark, completely lame. Or perhaps I should say sophomoric.

At 3:54 PM, Blogger Manuel A.Tellechea said...

P.S.: Excuse me, I see it's Blind Mind."

At 11:57 AM, Blogger ANON1 said...

The fact that someone went out of their way to try and harm you is beyond me. People need to grow up and find better things to do with their time like volunteer at a homeless shelter. Karma is a bitch so they will get theirs.

Good luck White Dade!

At 4:13 PM, Blogger David in DC said...


Viva Dade Blanco!

At 8:32 AM, Blogger imaginaryconversations said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 2:51 AM, Blogger imaginaryconversations said...

Oh boy, WD must've been more upset than I thought about this article since he posted about it.

I'll set aside the posts about Cuban culture (for now) since I haven't experienced it firsthand. I must say, though, that as someone whose first language is Russian, I could write a similar post about "Russian-American" culture. I could write such a rant about the South-Asian immigrants here in the Toronto area, or the recent immigrants from Hong Kong/China. Every cultural group has its own unique set of shitty qualities, and those become annoying when this group has the desire and ability to try to force them on the rest of the public.

I want to talk about something else people complain about often regarding this blog - misogyny. Most people who do seem to be entirely unable to see beyond the surface of WD complaining about yet another dumb girl.

Here are some quotes from the infamous Judge Not By The Color of One's Skin post:

What I hate is machismo and the constant support of traditional gender roles.

What I hate is men hitting on women as if it is their right.

What I hate is the prioritization of family above all else.

This reads like something a prominent second-wave feminist would write. Look beyond the surface, people. Talking about shitty things many women do is not misogyny, it's realism. The same goes for men and any group in society, however you decide to form it (gay people vs. straight people, white Americans vs. non-white Americans, etc.). The vast majority of people are stupid and/or mean. The combination of these two wonderful qualities with a huge sense of entitlement makes for the most annoying individuals.

The cool people are an exception, not the rule. WD seems to be trapped in some weird place where there are ever fewer of those than it is normal. I know what it's like - I've been in that place all my life before starting university, where I finally met many like-minded people. WD, seriously, you should move to a big city.

At 4:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

aw, i had no idea until now that you had posted. i miss your blogs. they outraged so many people.


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